Miss Hanz ♥

I am not who I used to be.

2011-12-28T18:45:00.003+08:00

I forgot what was so wonderful about me.
I used to hate nobody.
I didn't have a reason to block anybody.

I don't even have the balls to be angry when I have the right to.

Now I'd eff up anyone who pisses me off.
And that is pretty often.
I don't want to blame this on anyone,
But there has to be something that influenced me to be this way.

I can make friends in a bat of an eye,
But now I forgot how to make friends,
Just because I didn't want to make the wrong friends.

I don't let anyone take advantage of me,
I don't want to do nice things for anybody,
I don't get involved in anything that's none of my business.

But I have forgotten to be the bigger person,
I have forgotten to be kind,
Forgotten to be compassionate.

It is a series of events that has happened that led me up to this.
It has to be some kind of defense mechanism that I'm pushing everyone out,
To the extent that when I realized who I have become,
I repulse myself.

I don't like who I am right now,
As I am sure many others don't as well.

I have taken revenge of a few to everyone else in my life.

I lost my outlets;
Singing, blogging, song writing.

What stopped?
Why have I simply stopped bothering?
And just live life waiting for the next day?

This is pointless.

I wanna be who I used to be.
I wanna be a better person.

But I'm not anymore.
To try is to feel like a phony.

Is this what they call an internal struggle?

I wouldn't want to be my friend.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Story of the pissed off boss of Bird Shit parking.

2011-10-06T17:14:00.008+08:00

"You why talk to me like that? You wanna fight now is it?"
"Yalah, stupid fella!"

Here is what happened:
So I woke up this morning and did the same routine:
Woke up in a jolt, cursed because I'm late,
Skipped shower and brushing my teeth, splashed my face with cold water
Put on clothes that don't smell or look dirty, play with my dog
(You have to, ethical issue)
Then rushed out.
As you know, Subang Jaya is well-known for one thing
(And it's not Lim's Fried Chicken, no not really)
It's the amazing traffic.
So I reached subang in what should have been 10 but became 23mins,
And As I had Mr. Andrew for my first class, I know if I'm too late,
My ass: grilled.

And so I skipped the usual habit of parking in SS14

(My dad's employee can look after my car so no need pay parking HAHA)

And parked in birdshit parking instead.

Lo and behold at 10.15 in the morning every single space LITERALLY

In subang is filled with cars, and a fucker who double parked
(silver wira, retard) so I had no choice but to double park and leave my car keys there.
So if you knew me well enough, I just got a car like probably 3-4 months ago?
It's windscreen cracked within 3 weeks and just recently the power window broke down.
So yeah. I didn't really exactly particularly meticulously remember my car plates,
But I know the numbers in it. And being late for class,
I just gave it to them what I at that time was not SUPER sure, but fairly sure

Was the right one, and rushed off to class without double checking.
My fault I know, but I just woke up alright!
So, as you may very well guess, I was wrong.

So when my class ended I walked with Jas to the parking and

As I went to get my car keys, I noticed that my car was clamped.
Frustrated, I went over the booth and asked why is that so.
"You never leave your keys."
"There it is."
"Same number?"
"Oh, sorry I put the wrong number."
"Okay wait I call the manager."

And so I waited for about 30 minutes in my car in frustration

Because I just got a new laptop and I can't wait to go sleep

Then wake up and play with it (MAPLE, SIMS GENERATIONS)
While breaking my Puzzle Bobble score in my ancient W810i phone,
Someone rapped my car window, signalling me to open my door.

He was rather cute albeit short, wearing a red football jersey paired with a

naturally tousled hair.
"Hi, this morning I wanted to go out but your car was blocking me.
It was quite urgent, and I had to take a taxi there."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I gave them the wrong number plate because I used to drive another car."
(i-lied.jpg)
"Oh, well next time please do not give wrong number kay."

"Kay, I'm really really sorry. I hope it was nothing life threatening."
"Ah, it doesn't matter anymore."
"So sorry!"
"Kay."
And so he left. And there I thought:
"Wow so nice geh. it it was me i don't think I would have done the same thing."

And so waiting another 20 minutes in my car I was glad when I
Finally see two indian fellas walking towards me with the clamp key.
"You must pay RM50 la."
"What? Why? Just for this?

But I only have RM47 with me now, please la, just let me go."
"No, I want to talk to this fella, wait for him to come talk to you."
"Oh, he already did just now."
"Really? What he said?"
"He told me that I blocked his car this morning,

and told me to put correct number next time."

"And then?"
"Then I said sorry and he left."
"Waaaa, chinese talk to chinese so different ahhh.. bloody fool.

This morning I was scolded like shit by the owner of this car you know!

He was bloody rude, who does he think he is. I so old, he so young!

Bloody fool educated people talk like uneducated people."

Apparently some guy I was blocking (thus we leave the keys see?)

Wanted to leave at 10am in the morning to do some very important stuff,
And because I gave them the wrong number, naturally they couldn't find the key,
And apparently this guy I blocked came down and screwed the shit out of the
Parking lot boss. Like seriously.

I don't really know exactly what happened but this was how Bird Shit parking boss said it:
"The bloody bastard scolded me ask me for taxi money or give other car for him to drive!
I how old, he how old! The small little kid talk to me like want to fight like that, Blardy rude!"

And it surprised me how different this guy can be.
In front of me like so polite, but in front of this uncle wanna fight.
I am contemplating is it because of my ugly damsel in distress look that
Soften him up a bit or because it was morning and now it's afternoon and he calmed down.
(OR WAS IT MY BOOBS)
After that the uncle called him and talk to him, say why he so rude but so nice to me
Then apparently the guy hung up on the uncle.
Moral of the story:

It's great to be a girl.

Except when you're giving birth or if you think

women should be treated ala the bible.

I did lose RM30.00 though.
MY LAST TIME PARKING THERE.

p.s: Funny thing is they keep stressing that the guy wanted to leave at 10am
BUT MY RECEIPT SAID I CAME IN AT 10.15AM!!

p.p.s: I just remembered another thing the uncle said

"That's it? He said when the owner of this car (me) come back,
You call me, I'm gonna screw that fella (me). Bloody hell."

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

When you have to hold back

2011-08-28T21:32:00.002+08:00

Wow I should really just rename this blog to
Manda's Insecurity Page

Because this is the place I resort to
When I have thoughts in my mind
That are too long, dramatic and attention seeking
To be put on facebook.

Probably no one reads this anymore,
Which is just as well.
I once wondered why I don't just set this blog to private
Since it helps me release stress and all bottled up emotions
That I can't seem to tell anybody.
I assume there is something comforting
That somewhere someone might come across this blog
Reads my feelings,
And feel sorry for me.
AND IT FEELS GOOD :D

Haha.

Okay. So I'm in a relationship now,
It's been 7 months and my feelings have only grown stronger.
But yet again I am also a very strong willed person.
I have my own opinions in EVERYTHING SERIOUSLY and also
My own way of doing things. I have a lot of personal preferences,
I like to personalize everything, and I am particular.
I sound like a nightmare, believe me, I know.

Whilst I am not the most easiest person to be with,

I just can't somehow tone it down.
It's just embedded into me.
But it's not like I am some diva, preferring evian over spritzer.
Only menial things like forks over chopsticks.
Is that bad? :/

Anyway back to what I really wanted to say.

What do you do when you realize that you love your partner

More than they do you?
Or to be fair, judging by the surface,
That it appears that you love the other more?
As in they don't really show it, even if they do?

I just, I've been in this scenario before,
And let's just say although I was young that time, I got dumped in 2 weeks.
Although the guy was a really big assed jerk to begin with.
(He cheated on me on the 1st week, go figure.)

I just feel like it's not my advantage to love someone more.
So is it really selfish if I said I wanna tone it down?
It's easier said than done, but I don't wanna be on the losing end here.
I don't want to have a high risk.
I wanna rebuild the wall he broke when we first got together.
Dang, it sounds bad already.

UGH.
I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Never mind.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Nothing more than feelings.

2011-07-12T20:19:00.003+08:00

It's been a month since I've lived here.

No invitations to go home.
As if no one missed me.
As if I made no difference.

As if I don't matter.

It doesn't matter if I am all by myself,
It doesn't matter what's been said to me,
It doesn't matter that everything that was lost was my own savings.

All that has been said is always
"You are calculative."
"You were provoking."
"You were hotheaded."
"You were selfish."
"You need to be more careful next time."
"You're dead when I get home."
"You better leave the house."

"You don't have anyone who likes you."

You, you, you.

Yes. Me.
For never have I ever felt more alone,
And just this once when I wanna be selfish,
I am still the one expected to be matured.
I don't like the pity people give me,
But I don't think it's so wrong to confide in one or two
When you get no support in your own home.
So, instead of looking for a silver lining in everything that has happened to me,
Can't I just be selfish for once, and pity myself?

Isn't this sad?
I am actually procrastinating.

LOL.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Childnomore.

2011-06-06T09:28:00.002+08:00

Perhaps my rage now may seem very immature,
But for a reason I felt like I have finally shed my child skin
And am now donning my adult skin.

I don't need to be blackmailed anymore,
Because at this second I don't really care,
Unless I have committed a crime,
I really don't wanna care about the consequences anymore.
People close to me knows that I am not one to let someone
Climb the top of my head and get away with it unless I allowed it to.

Well, I have let two people run over my head for the last time.
I have treated and tolerated and loved them as a bloodkin,
But apparently I am ungrateful/childish or perhaps petty and not a good sport.
Well I don't really stick well to humour meant to prod mean fun.

So now I may most probably broke two connections and made one stronger.
They can be each other's allies for all I care,
They are cut from the same cloth anyway, more the less,
And now finally I can match up.

I don't wanna play the bitch.

But I have already been seen one, so if you can't beat em join em.
And someone once said I can go to my blog and type all I want,
Who would see them?
Well, not you obviously,
I don't need random strangers to read this,
Because even if they did they don't understand dumbass.

I don't use names in my blog.

I only need people who understands to read,

Not people who only talks to me because they want something from me.

I don't buy any of the bullshit that's been served,
And boy can I keep a grudge,
Because what's the big deal,
Breaking something that's already been broken.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Little things.

2011-06-01T21:35:00.003+08:00

Little things

I don't need you to buy me a house,
As long as you want to live with me.

I don't need you to marry me,
As long as you want to be with me,

I don't need you to do everything with me,
As long as you want to do something with me,

I don't need you to call me every hour,
As long as you want to share things with me,

I don't need you to be strong,
As long as you want to protect me,

I don't need you to be perfect,

As long as you want to be for me.

I don't need you to be by my side all the time,
As long as you miss me when I'm not.

I don't need you to text me every single minute,
As long as you tell me when you're gone,

I don't mind if you fall asleep,

As long as I'm in there in your dreams.

I don't care if you buy me everything I've ever wanted,
Because it's the little things that count.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-

Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Rubbish!

2011-05-26T11:12:00.002+08:00

What is this mempertahan utusan malaysia bs?

Because they memperjuangkan hak melayu?

Since when you need to memperjuangkan that??

They have more rights than us what, only other day they say

Non-muslim don't deserve civil rights.

And who is challenging that anyway,

All I read on the newspaper is about how must fight

For malays right but no news about who's challenging it?

These leaders are shaming their own people and religion
Creating drama to stir people's emotions

And it's these people that are completely oblivious of how
Fucking RACIST they look on the newspaper.

Please go back to the loo where you come from
And continue to flush the image of Malaysia bit by bit down the john.

There will be NO harmony as long as you keep spewing words

That gives indirect message such as
"You are at our mercy, we give you permission to practice your own religion,

To multiply and give you HUMAN rights, and like the Jews,
We give them something, but you must return that generosity.
We came here first, first come first serve, so now you must listen to us,
And we're going to make sure this is our land and it stays that way and I rather
Have Malaysia die in our hands than to see it prosper in yours.

But if you vote for us, ha then problem solved laaaaa.

You happy we happy, we conquer and you get to live by our gracious mercy."

Oh hello, is that chinese, indian and other people figthing for Malaysia

how many years ago?

Why do they have to be such big hypocrites talking about unity

then doing something completely OPPOSITE?

Obv this 1M thing is not for us, but for other country to ASSUME we are.
The one thing we can be proud of and stupid leaders have to sabo that also.

It's because of you people that make US feel that our lives are unfair
and look at Malays in a different way because YOU speak for them!

Politics will be the death for us all.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

2011-05-17T00:18:00.002+08:00

Like duh, this is my blog.
HAHA.

Damn thanks to Jeremy whenever someone says/sings this line,
I'd think of him first.

Well, It's been some time since I've used this blog to relieve some stress.
I've started interning, of course.
All set to prove my worth and capabilities,
But somehow..
Things just go wrong.

Screwed up last Friday,
Screwed up today.
When asked about it, and after I explained it,
I only felt like I was giving excuses.
Felt like, but truly I am not.
I know that I should just shut up and take what's being served,
And probably they didn't really meant to sound so "bid deal-ish",
But to me it reflects on my personality,

And well, this is a first impression.
Usually, if you notice, first impression doesn't budge.
So, fml fml fml and what's that? Oh, fml.

So now, I'm gonna suck it up,
And try to do my best.
Hopefully they pardon my mistakes since it's just the second week,
And I'll stop SCREWING UP.

I better.
I really don't want them to see me in that light.
I really can do better.
I really can be very socially adept.

I WILL break their corporate faces and make them laugh at ME
If I must. The ice has not broken, if not even more frozen.
GOD.

My only wish is that they would tell/brief me on things.
I didn't get a tour and wasn't introduced to the team.
I kinda had to find out everything by myself.

And I felt very small and invisible,
People go in and out,
Some people obviously giving me senyum kambing,
While others are avoiding my eye.

Tak tau really so busy or am I really that annoying with my smiles.
And babe said my smile is powerful. Pfffft.

OKAY SUCK IT UP
I'm here to learn not to be happy and/or have fun.
Whatever.

HAHA drama la me.
It's not that bad really.
I'm probably beating myself up bcoz of PMS.

Just... GOSH.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

An ending brings a new beginning

2011-04-24T15:06:00.004+08:00

I tell ya, if you had multiple dreams of you dying,
You'd be creeped out.
And most of the people that appears in my dreams
Are characters from college.
Although there was one dream that I don't really remember.

So apparently when you dream about your own deaths on more than
One occasion, it symbolizes that you're ending a phase in your life.
And based on the characters that starred in my dreams,
That would be my college life.
At least for the next 3 months anyway,
Because I'll be away from college to intern at some advertising firms.
Well, hopefully I get into at least one of em'.

Getting into advertising was something new for me.
I mean alright, I may have boasted a lil when I said I am good at writing,
There are tons more that are better than me in my course alone,
But writing comes naturally to me.
It was something I didn't have to sweat about.
Usually written assignments I can totally finish 3 hours before due dates

And I still get above average if not better scores.
So it was something easy.
Never would I have thought about getting into advertising.
I mean, come on, I hated principals of advertising,
But I sure did love the assignments making our own posters as such.

It was Eric who slapped me awake.
"Don't take the easy way out" he said.

That sentence still rings in my ear today.
I for one was never the coward. Or at least, that's what I would like to think.

And taking the easy way out, that is like..
Pfft, you loser, you sell out.
And although my passion may be designing,
I have to work at it. Work hard at it.
I get dry spells occasionally,
When I am at lost, staring into the blank canvas that is Photoshop.
I mean sure, I have a brilliant idea onces in a while,
But then it never results in what I imagined it to be.
For one, my photoshop skills are limited,
And two, there are only so many google images you can find.
That's what I hate about saying I "love" designing.
Because what type of designer am I if I'm only good at taking a bunch of
Other people's illustration and making them into my "own"?
That's like a big fat plagiarism right there.
I mean, maybbbbbbe I get credit for the idea,
But still.
I wanna know how to make my OWN graphics, with illustrator or what not.

Honestly I am doubting my "skills", if I even have them,
Because I can never truly claim them as my own.
Look at this blogskin right now.
I think it's nice, but none of them are "my work".
It was a picture of a boot which I then manipulated,
Then downloaded some fancy fonts from a website,
Then claimed that I "designed" this blogskin.
Gosh I feel like such a phony.

So yeah, I think I don't know ANYTHING about advertising,

But I have the passion to learn about it,
And I hope this passion is good enough for the advertising firms I have applied,
And hope that they consider me despite my so called "designing" skills.
At least I might have a shot at copy writing right?

Ahhhhh to be honest I am damn scared of this internship.
But I know I'll make it through, coz I have to.

Hope it all goes well.

Make or break time yo.

And to shitholes that recite my blog address to my face,
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?
That you read my blog, big deal.
I hate passive aggressive people, who thinks that have guts
Trying to reveal to you that they know about what you wrote in your blog,
But not really touching on the subject.
I WROTE IT.
In my blog.
I'm not gonna deny it.
Fact is I can back things up.
Got something to say?
Say it now or STFUTQ.

Haha OKAY I KNOW I SOUND IRONIC
Talking about passive aggressive people and here I am being
EXACTLY what I was ranting about.
THE DIFFERENCE IS
He is trying to let me know that he knows about my blog,
While I am just trying to avoid conflict coz I don't mention it at all in his face.
Coz I don't give a fuckin damn over that and don't want to anymore,
But here he is still reciting my blog addy to me whenever he sees me.
LIKE WTF.

People need to grow up.
My world doesn't revolve around him or his friends anymore,
And by the end if this year our world as we know it competely
Disappears.

Well, you always wanted to forget me right,
Now it's mutual.
Hope you're happier now.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

I want that.

2011-04-09T22:04:00.002+08:00

Friendships.
There are many kinds,
And who are you to say that one's better than the other?
Some may have equal amounts of love for one another

But have different frequencies of hanging out together,
Different types of approaches,
Different types of honesty,

Different types.

I wouldn't say I don't have friends,
I wouldn't say I don't have close friends,
But I can't say that I have tight friends.

I see people in colleges hanging with people
They do every single day.
And they are always laughing, seems like they have so much fun.

Everyday is something new, even though everything is still the same.

Perhaps it might be repetition, but to these they are oblivious.
It's not where you go, it's what you do, what you say,
What you share.

Friends who talk on the phone like the lesbians that they are,
Friends who goes out yumcha every night,

Friends who to other people are a major tick off,
Because of the amount of noise you make,
Which is equivalent to how much fun they are having.

Friends who plans to go out venturing for food every weekend,
Friends who share the same passion,
Jamming together,
Going through and experiencing the same life together.
So involved with each other.

I want that.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Mondex?

2011-03-20T20:06:00.004+08:00

Ohhh yeah.So, I've been ranting on facebook

but then I don't want people telling me
That I'm spamming their facebook wall with my rants so yeah,
Here I am on my dusty old blog.

Well, my aunt forwarded me this power point presentation slide
Entitled "MONDEX MARK OF THE BEAST" or something like that.
It's basically about how Mondex (under mastercard) with help from Motorola
has come up with a new way to keep our money,
in form of a chip.
Andddd this chip is our future, and soon everybody rich and poor
Will have to be implanted with this chip,And it cannot be taken out because when it's exposed to air
It will burst, and may leak lithium into our blood stream
And dunno got what GPS that can track and then the authorities will be informed.
What are the authorities gonna do?
Are they police?
They gonna catch us?
They gonna force us to have a chip implanted into our hands/foreheads?

I think with outspoken people nowadays,
Even if this is real, people would not ALLOW this to happen,

Because this is a freakin invasion of privacy,
and BTW is hazardous to our body if broken,I mean WHAT IF BASKETBALLERS FALL EH?
Our hands are not that protected and if we injure ourselves,
THEN LITHIUM LEAK INTO OUR BLOODSTREAM AND WE DIE?
I think NOT. And what about amputated people?
If that is the mark of the beast then all amputated people
With no right hand gets to go to heaven izit?

Where did they get their facts?
They never go to college?Like hello. REFERENCE?
I took Introduction to Research in my third semester,
So I won't simply simply believe what is circulated online.
Ms. Cheryl will be proud of me.

It's probably a TROLL for all we know.

I just think it's really really stupid.
They call us if we don't believe go google veriships or biochips and potato chips
And see for ourselves.
And the result?

Yeah, sure.

Come on. I searched the Mondex website up and down,
And all it mentioned were smartcards.
Googled verichips too.
All websites about MARK OF THE BEST MARK OF THE BEAST
No concrete evidence.

And chips for everyone rich or poor?
Chips as far as i know that NEEDS to be implanted won't come cheap
HEY LOOK A PUN HAHA
Anyway, yeah it doesn't come cheap so POOR PEOPLE TOO?
I don't think they can afford luh.
And what about people living in amazon and stuff.
They free from the mark too?

This Mondex if it's even real, I mean,
I have never heard of it even in Malaysia nor have i seen it
And to be honest their website seems seedy
And mastercard's international website says NOTHING about it's affiliation with
Mondex SO HOW.
Just take your word for it just coz
It's in a form of a "highly professional" powerpoint slide?

People will believe what they want to believe,
Mondex's logo is not 666 and hello,
They say data is more SAFE than hard cash?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
WHAT A JOKE.
Hello, have you ever heard of people hacking into NASA?
Or the military base or what not.
IT IS NOT SAFE.
HARD CASH, THAT IS SAFE.
You can DETECT fake cash.
DATA. WHAT IS DATA.
Data can be like hacked, changed anytime.
So how is hard cash NOT SAFE.
Can you touch my cash from your home?
NO.
Can you paint about my sexual orientation on my living room wall?
NO.
You see how many people's wall going
"I AM GAY AND I AM PROUD"

or
"ANUS ITCHY."
And basically people like hacking into your online banking account.
GOT MOU.
GOT.
SO.
Which more safe, please use your brain.

And anyway I have seen Mondex illustrations.
They are cards.
I see no chips.
No mention of chips.
In fact all CHIPS that I can find are from those websites that say
"HEED OUR WARNING THE MARK OF THE BEAST"
And then they say stay away from this company
And then it shows Mondex's logo.
Which is of a butterfly.
Ooooo dangerous.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-

Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

2011-02-13T18:49:00.001+08:00

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

I'm mad.

2011-02-08T22:44:00.003+08:00

I know this was coming but I'm still mad.

I can't help it. I see their eyes.
The lies when they joke with me.
With every little words, hidden spikes are thrown.
Some subtly, some on purpose.

Wasted my time, effort, hope and patience for these few months
And eventually we came to this end.

Is it because you wanted me to suffer too?

When will you see that I am sorry?

A lifetime can't pay for my mistakes, in your eyes.

But come to think about it,
What is it really that you're mad about?

What is it that you can't let go.

What my eyes has seen?
Stranger to friends

Friends to close friends
Close friends to buddy
Buddy to potentials

Potentials to friends

Friends to strangers
Strangers to _________.

That's right.
Because we aren't even strangers anymore.
We've gone beyond that, and you took us further.

I don't know where you are planning to go with this.

All these while, what you wanted I granted.
That last wish you wanted, I fulfilled.
You wanted to stay friends, I agreed.

Things that I do, things I don't do;
What is right, and what is wrong?

Only you have the answers to that

I have done everything I can to make it right.

And I also done everything I could think of to make it easier for you.

I proposed to end it first, and you didn't take it.

Now you propose to me like you've always wanted it.
You know what it feels like?

It feels like you are preying on my conscience.

Toying with my guilt.
Had enough fun then.

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Update Update

2011-02-07T09:17:00.002+08:00

CNY was so so.
Had no CNY feel.

Or maybe because I just woke up as I'm typing this.
I woke up to do the storyboard timeline,
I am very close to falling asleep thus here I am.

I finished drawing the storyboard.
It looks like shit.

Acceptable shit.
For the first few pages anyway.
I can draw btw.. like shit.

Haha okay lar not that bad la, I won't fail also,
Just that all my facial expression cannot make it.
On the bright side, if I ever wanna draw retarded looking people
I'd get an easy A!

It's been.. a month and 3 days and counting.

There will always be a doubt in me to the possibility of a break up.
I don't know why, but I am dreading it.
I mean sure, it's all flowers now but you seriously never know
What's gonna happen.
But things with us are good now, one month along
And uhh.. we've already meet each other's families.
Not like OFFICIALLY. But still.

I haven't been controlled by anyone, and the bf is seriously very protective
But I can tell sometimes he tries to let loose a bit.
And I've also got to realize I'm not free to roam as I please anymore,
Because there will be someone always waiting for me
To see if I'm okay and I'll try to drill that into my routine.

If we ever break up I'd kill him. HAHAHA

Hmm updates on the Aussie trip?
It was okay I guess, but I left my soul back at Bondi Beach.
I swear I gotta go back there.

Other things are.. rather saddening and even annoying.

College started and the difference is immediately felt.
I want to forget about it, and just don't give a fuck.

I spent too many semesters trying to fix what I've done,
But what's done is done, if what I offer can't be accepted
Then I'll have to accept that this is the best I could do
And no one can say I never tried.

I'm saving up for a trip of a lifetime and will spend many dinners at
The chap fan at Asia Cafe and I wanna play 4 beat on the high hat!

I got started with 8 and now I can't slow down.

Surprise surprise I gained weight again lalala.
Good thing the bf don't care but still I wanna look good.
So bought like the Kelloggs bar that can probs last me like..

A month only whe wtf.
Just realized how expensive it is RAWR.

Whatever.

I hope this storyboard is worth the freaking effort.

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Jordan

2011-01-22T15:08:00.005+08:00

Just wrote a song but lyrics are retarded but that's how I feel ^^"

I've been dreaming of a time

Where someone's hands are mine

To love to mold it's hard to hold that thought away but you were there and

What's outside you're blind to all

And what's inside you see,

You take it in and made it into something that I never knew existed

I put my heart of glass in your hands

I bet my life and hope you dont end it

Days feel likes years that what you make me

You push and pull me tease me baby, You wont let me

Build that wall you crush it but I wont fall

Coz you'll be there to catch me, I know this might sound corny, baby

That what you make me

You make me go crazy

This home that you created don't you ever let it fall

Coz this's the one time I forgo everything everything

All defences I have built you made them seem so small

You break them up and push them down down

all that I believe bout love you erased it

You loved me when I don't believe me

With you, I don't have to care about being pretty

Days feel likes years that what you make me

You push and pull me tease me baby, You wont let me

Build that wall you crush it but I wont fall

Coz you'll be there to catch me, I know this might sound corny, baby

That what you make me

You make me go crazy

I'm in love!

2011-01-01T05:47:00.002+08:00

Well I told you I'd tell you guys personally.
Well technically there only be 2-3 that would be interested enough,
Coz the rest (if there is) would not know who he is.

2011 is magical.

Now I know what it feels like to have your love reciprocated.
I am DELIRIOUSLY happy.
We're not together yet.
We're taking things slow.. which was good,
Because although we've known each other for 4 years,
We haven't known each other this way.
So.. wish me good luck!

Despite my size,
He told me he thinks I am very pretty.
And apparently thinks my smile is very powerful.
HAHA!

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Aussie trip and some other things

2010-12-29T01:53:00.002+08:00

I'm soooo excited for my Aussie trip.
The ONE AND ONLY PLACE I have ever been to with a plane

Is like Penang. And I don't even remember it.
All I know is I was still in primary school, and I was almost late
And I boasted to all my little friends
About how I flew by aeroplane to school.
HAHA!

The beach, that's what I am most excited about.
Eversince the jelly fish incident I haven't been swimming much
In the ocean. Especially with waters like those in PD
It's not that hard to fathom how I could not.
First of all it's dirty, and second of all it's dirty enough that you can't
See anything in it.
And I kinda have a phobia thinking about what could possibly be lurking
In the waters.

I think the last time I went to SG beach and screamed from just about anything,
From a twig floating to weird sand textures I felt from my feet,
To sudden cold temperatures and from my imagination.
LOL.

But one thing, I have always loved the ocean,
I can stare at it, longing to dive in it, wonder about it's mysteries,
It's beautiful marine life, the serenity.
Waves are just about the very most serene and calming thing, don't you think?

And well I'd also be sandsurfing, sounds painful.
And others I'm not really bothered about.
BEACHHHH I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE BEACH.
And also that vacation-y feeling lahhh.
Awesome to get a break from normalcy.
I guess I have to take many pictures but it's okay,
I bought these awesome gladiators to cover my face
So now I only need to work on my smile.
NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO SCORCHING HEAT.

Can't wait for college to start either!
I miss Jasnitha and Ms Cheryl.
HOPE I GET MR.K TOO!
And yeah get to play more drums, I wanna improve
And I wanna play Awake and Alive on drums!
And also Long Way to the Top, which is an OST to the awesome movie
School of Rock!

Lost weigh, gained them back. FML FML.

And well, December has been very kind to me.
I've met a whole new person I have never discovered although
He's been around for some time,
And well, now it's really a secret because it carries a huge risk,
And I can't take that risk, not something I can gamble with.
So, I'm gonna take it slow, and when I am absolutely sure,
I'd probably reveal who he is to you guys personally.

He's mean, he teases me, and he's very lame,
We have totally different opinions on things,
But he can be very sweet too, he knows how to make my heart beat faster,
He's a protector and he knows how to compromise.

I don't think he reads my blog,
If he does I'd die. Seriously, from embarrassment.
Because as you know, I am paranoid and I fall for concern and flattery
Like honey is to bees.

And it's a very long shot, him and I are like..
I don't know. Impossible?

Basically I'm scared I'd just hurt myself by being so.. ugh.

I HATE UNCERTAINTY.
And I cannot sleep, he hasn't text me.
I have been having insomnia for some time now, especially last week,
I wasn't sure if it's about him, but he mentioned it like the perasan guy he is,
And I hope not.

Gosh.

I think if I just found someone else it's be easier for me.

BUT HE SURE KNOWS HOW TO PULL MY STRINGS.
I swear.. sometimes it almost seems as if he is flirting with me..
OH I SOUND PATHETIC.

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NYAHAHA!

2010-12-13T21:41:00.002+08:00

I will be surprised any of you still read my blog.
Seriously.

So I didn't work this month.
Well, I was supposed to wait for feedback from an event management company
But I guess it didn't fall through, so..
Holidays it is for me then.

Next month I'll be flying off the Sydney for the Salvation Army Youth Conference.

It is my first time flying across such a large body of water,
Going so far away.
I am so excited that I feel excited 8D

This year I have gained some friends,
And lost some friends.
And this year has perhaps taught me many things:

You can be honest, but not everyone appreciates honesty.
So if you appreciate that friend, then add a little sugar,
Coz it can go a long way.
Just because it's solid truth doesn't make it hurt or offend any lesser.

While I used to think I should be given the freedom to say whatever the hell
I want in MY blog, facebook or whatnot,
I also have to realize that as long as other people can see,
If I used a public medium to voice my thought,
The the public can also give feedback,
Regardless of whether I like it or not.

It's just part and parcel of having your blog not locked.

My resolutions for 2011 as of now:
1.Appear to be less motherly.
2.I don't wanna be slim, just lose 6 more kg will do.
THAT'S IT. SOUNDS EASY RIGHT?
HANZ??!

3. Be more spontaneous.
4. Be less judgemental or at least shut up about it.
5. Appreciate everything more.
6. Break out of my shell.

7. Be less self conscious and superficial.

8. Have a goal and actually make it fall through.

9. Forgive the asshole in my class. It's been a year.

10. Get a new crush.

That's all I can come up with.

Have a great holiday!

Can't wait for the Christmas gift exchange dinner with
Anne, Sam, Peter, John, and Edwin!

I am starting to get REALLY attached to you guys

or maybe it's just the holidays and I am sick of the sims.
HAHA.

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Kenzhi is such a drama queen.

2010-12-04T16:40:00.002+08:00

So I come home from shopping right,
And I was "Bam bam bam"-ing along the corridor.
(I am NOT hitting things, I'm singing =.=)
Usually if my dog hears me
(dogs have good hearing if you are retarded)
He recognizes even from the way I walk, as in the sounds I make.
(I think I drag my feet, very distinct HAHA)

Anyway.. As I came home at like 4pm bam bam bamming
My dog didn't bark to acknowledge that he knows I'm home.
Usually he barks the hell loose while looking at certain family members
Giving off this vibe that says
"SOMEONE HOME. LOOK. I KNOW. I HEARD. ME GOOD BOY! *PANTS*"

But afternoons he doesn't.
Because deep down he's a pussy..cat and he doesn't bark in the afternoon because:

1.No one is home. He's alone. Scared.

2. No one is home. No one to say "SO CLEVER!"

3. Confirm he shit somewhere he's not supposed to.

So.. yeah.

Anyway, as I step into my house I dropped my stuff in my room,
And I bought like a hell lot of bangles from The Curve
I bought like 15 bangles for RM30. FIFTEEN. FEEFTIN.

And I was slowly taking them off bcoz I know Kenzhi can't stand it
Coz he wants me to play with him so HAHAHA.

Then I was like okay la dun so mean la so I pat and cuddled him from my door way.
Whenever Kenzhi leaves, it's because he left to retrieve his toy,
So I can play with him.
My mom has been throwing random soft toys at him that I got over the years.. =.="
She almost gave him a mashimaro toy that Yin Teng gave to me!!!

......

Anyway..... back to the story,

So whenever he leaves to get his toy which he likes to hump alot,

I always take this opportunity to run to my room and close the door,
Coz I got like, ~~sims~~ important stuff to do.. and stuff.
So as I was closing the door, I saw Kenzi already running towards me
With his toy in his mouth.
And when he saw me closing the door,
He DRAMATICALLY dropped his toy and gave this
"OH DESPAIRRR!!" expression.

I was like HAHHAHAHHAHAHHA.
SOOOO drama =.=
And fine la okay he guilt me into playing with him.

He likes to play tug of war with me.
So I get bored of the same thing sometimes, and the toy get disgustingly wet.
So when it gets too wet, I kinda hold it above my thighs sitting down,
and as he tries to bite it I block him with my huge feet MUAHAHA.
And he gets tired after sometime, then I'll put my feet down
And try to tempt him with it again, and he'll fall for the bait,
Then I will use my feet to block him again HAHAHA.
So, after a couple of rounds, the toy is kinda dry already,
And so is the game, but whatever, but this Kenzhi start his strategy already.
He pretends to look the other way.. walk to other way.. in one round..
And RUNS BACK IN HURRY TO BITE THE TOY.
LOL. LAMEE! Like I will fall for such an ELEMENTARY trick!!

Okay, and another way of playing with him is I drag the toy around me,
So he runs round and round and round.
Until he gets tired.
And so do I.
Usually when I get tired of it, I just put it on my left, he runs there,
Put it on my right, he runs there and cycle continues..instead of making a complete circle.
(Well if you wanna be technical about it, it is rather moving in a circle..)

But this dog ohoho, he very the smart.
He wanna find short cut.
So he waits on one side.
When he figures I only move when he moves, he didn't run one round.
That bugger go run across my lap =.="

GOT SCRATCH MARKS U KNO!!

And the last, whenever we leave the house,
he does that face down eyes up thing on us.
SOOOOO GUILTY.

Conclusion: KENZHI IS A DRAMA QUEEN!

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Lady Gaga - Telephone Cover

2010-11-17T21:49:00.001+08:00

I know, I know I said I am anti lady gaga.
But it's so catchyy!!

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Teenage Dream

2010-11-14T16:51:00.000+08:00

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OMG.

2010-11-08T03:01:00.002+08:00

I was on facebook and I was looking at my wall
Then I saw an interesting title "4 the ham ka chan who wont replay me"

And some pictures of what seems to be the "What's on your mind?" box
With text written, like a paragraph.

I thought what la, I memang kpc by nature so I click.
And it was him saying something along these lines:
"Always I on facebook very bored wan find people chat,
But when I say hello no one ever replies me, even those who just signed in,
You only want to let people know you on 24hours only but not there izit?
But when I scold you hkc or sohai you all can reply.

What, must zhong diu only respond?!"

But of course in much broken english.

And I was laughing like mad because he's still as childish
(but he's still with the girl he dumped me for)

And I was just feeling good about myself

And that I'm not with that loser (me, sore? no....)

Then it struck me.

It felt like so long ago, and he was my ex.
And it felt funny, because..
My love life has been in hibernation mode for so long..
It's as if I forgot about my love life,
Like I never had one at all..

Then I didn't feel so good anymore.

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FUGLOAD of assignments.

2010-10-31T01:04:00.002+08:00

Presentations for
Human Comm and Advertising.

Documentation for Human Comm and Presentation Skills.

Creative power point slides + poster for Presentation Skills.

Web Development website and documentation.

Just kill me.
i just got back from a party and I am now very tired.
I really feel like sleeping.
I guess there's no sleeping for me tomorrow.

Wow today I felt so.. lame.
Lol, well I went to Jun Meng/Seng's birthday party,
And well, the person I really know there is like.. Jason and Jun Meng.
And I've actually been following Jun Meng around at first,
Then I figured I must be annoying, so I got busy myself.
It was all okay until when just his friends got around to play.

I was uhhh, kinda left out, I didn't really know them.
Not that they weren't nice, they are friendly, we've met and chatted before.
Just that they are like everyday hang out kinda friends,
And I'm like the.. girl who sings on the occasional meetup.

I just suck at big crowds.
I'm okay with like 5 maybe at most, but more than that,
I tend to get more and more reserved.
I mean, it's not that I don't wanna join,
I think it's kinda like..
I hope they would choose me, instead of me just barging in,
I mean.. what if I'm not accepted?
Like "Shit, I wanted ___ to join, not her." kinda thing.

So I just stood there, and I was naturally not chosen.
Lamest moment ever.

Gosh.

I need to stop giving damns and just join something.
I'd rather be disliked than be lame.

And that was a hard choice.
I mean, at least I'm not alone.

I am sooo pathetic. God.
And only yesterday I told myself that I shouldn't care about what people think.

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I'm not ignoring, I just don't give a flying fuck.

2010-10-28T01:39:00.005+08:00

I read your blog.
I wrote a reply.
I posted it here.
I thought about it.
And I realize I really don't care.
So it's saved as draft.
I won't be read by anyone.
But it's already written.

Go figure.

I'd like to think that I'm doing the right thing.
But I know who's the childish one.
Because all you can talk about is one thing that happened years ago.

That stupid sanitary thing.

P.S: I would like you to PINPOINT in which blogpost
Did I write about you in this year. Go ahead.
Because even if I'm talking about you,
It won't have a name,
And the only people who understand is you,
No one else.

Your blog on the other hand got 2 names,
And you wanna talk about me defaming you?
Please.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-

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Black = Emo?

2010-10-22T22:03:00.002+08:00

LOL.
I just happen to like black.
Aside from it being a slimming colour on me,
I think black is a really sharp colour without standing out.

That's just me, in a way.
I'm very like standing out subtly.
LOL SOUND NARCISSISTIC.

But really lah.
Even if I slim down someday and I might try some other colours,
I still think I'd like black a lot.
But seriously, I CAN GET EMO SOMETIMES BUTTTT
I am NOT emo.

In fact, I happen to think I laugh a lot and smile a lot.
I'm pretty cheerful, aren't I?

Therefore, never judge people superficially..
And it's people like you who's reading my blog that never judge me
Therefore get to know this Manda which is incredibly cool and funny
And has good humor and is fun to hang around with, right?

HAHAHA

I hate how I'm aways cautious around people.
I'm sure I'm not the only one when you act like how you think people
Would want you to be?
It's like.. if someone spoke in cheemglish I would speak in the same manner
And if someone speak to me in broken english, I oblige too!
Social adaptation and all that.. but I wish I can just be myself.
It takes a lot of effort to be someone you think the other would like,
Therefore sometimes I dread meeting new people.
Because I don't wanna be myself to find they'd judge me.
I'm just so self-conscious that way.

Sometimes I wish I can just screw all those people.

UGHHH!

Next wednesday Inti having some Halloween event,
And as a class activity all of us are gonna be in costume!

I'm gonna go as the emo/gothic mime (BUT IM NOT EMO!!!)

And next week I'm gonna hafta look for cornstarch, glycerin shortening and flour
Coz no one at home bakes.
Shortening is LARD.
I'm putting LARD on my face T.T

OH KELZ DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM HAS ALL THOSE?
I only need a few tablespoons LOL.

And ohhh I'm gonna perform another one of my song titled uhhhh..
Shit I don't remember... not with Tim Mcgraw playing anyway
Live like you were dying is so engaging.

Anyway OH IT"S STAY WITH ME.
HAHA How random.

Overall, as a conclusion to this super long random blog post,
I think I am not a shy person when it comes to new people,
I'm just lazy LOL.
There are people who takes effort to be around with,
And some not.
And I think I am super friendly,
Awesome, funny, have good humor, lame,
cheerful, sarcastic and did I mention awesome?

Oh and I am NOT shallow.

(Most random blogpost yet)

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Oh dear I need some sleep but I'm emotional. Must be PMS.

2010-10-20T03:08:00.003+08:00

I may have issues with my mom once in a while,
Major disagreements but I never will deny her superhuman strength.

Although I get into fights with her,
I still take her as my mother,
And I understand all the efforts she has put into bring me and my brother up.

I understand the love she shows and I never underestimated it.
I may have when I was younger but now I understand.

You can say that I'm just another pot calling the kettle black,
But it's times like these where I can look back
And be ashamed of my actions.

Upon hearing "What have you done for me" from a son to a mother
Really wrecked my heart.
True, this mother could not buy you a car,
And cannot afford your lifestyle,
May embarrass you with her over concerns,
But don't forget, she risk her entire life, literally
To put food on the table for her children,
To ensure that they have a treat every once in a while,
Completing her duties not as one but as both roles of father and mother,
And still have the extraordinary capabilities to buy us clothes,
Give us a decent apartment to live, a car to fetch us to school.

It's not for fun.
Do you think it's easy being a single mother taking care of 2 children by herself?

I do not think it is an easy feat to take care of two children
While having to work sometimes the entire week

And still have the power to purchase a home and means of transport,
Fetch her child to school at bloody 8am in the morning, go to work,
Come back from work just to go all the way to Subang endure the traffic jam
To fetch her child back from college and still have time to cook our favourite meals
Which hardly gets any compliments and aside from that
Still has time to wash the dishes, do the laundry, feed the dog
Clean up after the dog and keep order in the house.

I swear I just described a supernatural being.

And she does this silently.
Her silent love for her children.

And we blame her for the smallest of things.

"Why simply buy clothes for me you don't know my taste!"

"Never answer your call means bz la CALL CALL CALL"

"You said bring us go Honey VIllage now say eat bread wtf?"

"Have to wait at school until 10pm?! I'm very tired!"

I am so sorry for all the means things I have ever said to hurt you.
Never, never again will I take you for granted.
To God I swear.
I can't say this in your face,

But mom, everything you have done is not unnoticed.

It was not until this blog post that I have realized.
I deserved the look Jas gave me when

She heard about me using the 4 letter word on mom.
Remembering the look she gave me strike shame.
Deep shame.

If you care about someone enough,
You are willing to accept their flaws and tolerate them
Because you know that's what makes them them.
That was in my speech today.
I should learn from it.

I don't need a dad to keep me happy.

I have you to nag me, because you care.
I have you to annoy me with your phone calls, because you worry.
I won't get to have good meals,

because you are struggling to keep the roof on top of my head.

Never will I take you for granted again,
I'm so sorry and thankful for every single thing I have right now,
For the scar I got from a jelly fish, because it means I get to travel,
For the pressure from college, because it means I get to study,
For this blog post, because it's you who pay for everything.

I love you mom, I'm so sorry.

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Performance at INTI!

2010-10-15T23:52:00.002+08:00

Was awful la.
Sightly hungry, tired, waited for like from 6 - 10pm only start playing.
Worst of all was I was hoping Thina would stay or something.
At least it would be for someone.
But at last everybody went home and we played for silhouettes.

Whatever.

Got more claps for my song than the chinese song woo hoo!
It was okay la I guess, except everything sounded like..
We have never been rehearsing for the past 2 weeks.
Dang.

Looking forward to more performances.
I wanna be a natural on stage.
I have enough lameness and creativity and humor to be an MC def.
But I need to loosen myself oil it up a bit.
But it's all for experience.

I think the real me is super interesting
And awesome.
AHAHAHAHHA!

Ivan is annoying.
But fucker he makes me laugh.
Benci max.

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Some vids of me singing (again)

2010-10-06T23:12:00.001+08:00

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My six stringed guitar

2010-10-03T13:13:00.004+08:00

Yeah so this is the first song I wrote within these few recent months.

The first completed one anyway.
There were a few that has a tune and a verse and chorus to go with it.
But my style like, really fast and really many words.
Some called it rojak, but to me it's the passion
Of what I'm feeling, that when I sing it,
You can feel what I felt, the joy the excitement.

And haha yeah the harmony is off D8

Anyway this song is titled My Six Stringed Guitar.

(same with face own chords)

*Verse 1*
This here is an ode to you
A song I'd like to write for you
For being there to stop my tears from falling on my knees and I
Would like to thank this strings
Relief and joy these strings they bring
They turn the skies from black to white

Remove all pains aside

*Chorus*
Among the thorns you grabbed my hand
and let me know just what a flower i am
You water me to life tonight, and take away the weeds from sight
And gave me what I needed to shine, my sun light

*Verse 2*
You're always in the shadows watching
Waiting for the days
I'd hold you in my arms and play with your body and your strings
and I would like to say I'm sorry for the days i made you worry

I'm better than I was before, believe me believe me

*Bridge*
There are times when I pull you near
Times when I push you away
But you never minded
There are days I was rough with you
But when I strum your strings the tune
They always brought me awayyyyyy

*Chorus*

*Ending*
This here is an ode to you
A song I'd like to write for you
When I look you're never far
My six stringed guitar

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Pagi pagi kena shock begini.

2010-10-03T10:46:00.002+08:00

Haha you know,
If someone had a bad slang in BM,
They could have made begini sound like bikini.

Oh wait I have bad BM slang.

Dang.

Anyway, I was going to church this morning,
And as I was going towards to Kesas Highway,
I actually took the wrong turn, which brought me to Subang.
I was like sh*t! Church is the other way!
(And I was running kinda late)

So never mind, I took another lane out that leads me towards puchong,
And thought I'd go back and take the correct term turn this time.

I was driving along thinking "Haha, gonna tell Kelz I took a stroll"
Suddenly this idiotic saga came rushing out from the opposite side of the road!
I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay la he wasn't rushing.
But he was still going when I WAS COMING.
Then I was like honk, to let him know I'm there.
He keep driving.
HELL NO.

Hell to the no you gonna MAKE me give you MY way.
So as I swerve to the left to make sure he don't bang me,
I expect him to stop, because he is not in front of me in the first place,
He is like facing my car body.
AND HE IS STILL COMING.
So I actually had a nice time honking him back.

Like 5 times.
Haha it is fun!

I was late for church, so I decided to skip church
Since the tank is almost exhausted and pumping it will take more time.

I've not been going to Church recently.

I'm losing my faith.
I don't think my church right now is helping me grow.
Maybe because I was brought up in a different Christian environment.

I'm kinda spiritually lost.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Despite Kenzhi..

2010-10-03T01:45:00.002+08:00

I am a cat person.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Toys

2010-10-02T22:11:00.004+08:00

So I have been watching a Toy Story marathon,
And as I was thinking about toys,
It suddenly threw me back in time,
When I was younger.

Before I had my barbie dolls,
I had books.
I think that explains my English (and TV, of course)
Stuff like Moby Dick and Enid Blyton.
But not only were they books,
But I remembered I used to play with them.
How?

Well, I had this toy from a happy meal.
It was Ronald McDonald in a car.
And he bobs up and down as you roll the car along.
He was the main character in my playtimes.
Well, he was the only character I had, anyway.
But I made do with other small sized soft toys,
Like the lion above the TV,
And a plastic something I can't remember.
And I make buildings out of my books.

And I remember I used to spend hours playing with just that.

And I remembered all the fun I've had.

Now I'm sitting here watching Toy Story coz I have nothing to do.I kinda miss how I still had fun even though I had nothing to play with.
So I found this thing they call the HftT Blaster!
Click here to blast any sites into smithereens and KEEP SCORE!
You can bookmark it and launch it at any site,
And a small triangle comes out with a lame attempt of a grand entrance
Start moving it with your left and right buttons and shoot with your space bar!
Destroy any website!

You're not really destroying anything.
Click refresh.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

A cover 8D

2010-10-02T22:07:00.002+08:00

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

TGIF!

2010-10-01T19:11:00.002+08:00

Finally got time for myself.

Today Jason and I went to jam on a song of mine
Titled Closing Her Eyes.

It was okay, and as usual I was fussy.
All I know was I know what kind of drum beats I don't want,
But I don't know apa aku nak pulak, HAHAHA!
So I was like no no no no no.

So this is how it feels like being a bitch.
HAHA.

Went to lunch with him before jamming though.
Coz someone was using the music room.
Then while eating a bunch of my friends came in (excluding one)
And I suddenly got an urge to tell them "NOTHING'S GOING ON HERE."
Hmmm, typing that out seems like the exact opposite
Since I had to mention it, but really nothing going on la.

Too thin.
HAHAHAHA.

I hope he doesn't read my blog.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Driving.

2010-09-28T21:06:00.003+08:00

I really have road rage.
Aside from driving like a maniac myself, I still turn on my signal.
And I can be very ngau, as in I pandai cut line and all,
But that's usually to the other lane coz I wanna go to a junction on that side.

But one thing la,
Driving in Subang is good training.
Aside from the near accident I got near my house,
(I turn left without checking my blindspot and the car next to me accelerated
Just in time, their honk sounded like
PONNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAUUU.)

I have never been in an accident.
(Touching wood)
Subang taught me to be patient,
To drive through narrow roads,
And to be aggressive,
To speed,
And to be unkind.
Coz like, you cannot like a lady let people go ahead or cut in line,
The people behind will honk you ma.
The hooligans.

But JUST NOW THE TAXI REALLY EFF TO THE MAX.
This guys cut my line horizontally.
HORIZONTALLY.
LIKE HOW THE HELL DID HE EVEN GOT HORIZONTAL
When we drive straight!!

(To be fair I guess he WAS also driving straight... just diff direction)
I was so angry I honked,
But of course, being someone who rarely honked,
I didn't press hard enough and by the time I wanted to honk harder
The taxi lou already potong 3 lanes and it seems absurd

To continue honking. (and not like he know you honking him also.)

So if you see someone driving a black myvi at the LDP
Who looks like she's cursing loudly and animatedly raising her hand in the
northwest direction, that was me.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Lady Gaga and Illuminati

2010-09-28T12:56:00.003+08:00

Subliminal messages.
I won't tell you more about it, but it sure is creepy.

But the conspiracy that everyone famous is joining a little club
to RULE THE WORLD!
Kinda funny if you think about it.

"Hey, we're the illuminati and we wanna rule the world. Join us?"

Haha.

But then again about this Lady Gaga thing.
I mean she shows the "all seeing eye" and and that illuminati sign.
What was the purpose?
To show us she's in the illuminati, or do those signs
Actually serve a purpose, like.. I dunno.
A form of mind control or something?

I dunno la, I read up a lot about illuminati and freemasonry
(Feeling like I never did I'm so confused)
And along the way I forgot how it was connected to satanism
And the Egyptian god Ra(h).

So, with Lady Gaga's music video displaying illuminati signs
And Satanic symbols,
Does it deem her unsafe of her videos unsafe?

Can I still listen to Lady Gaga?
I mean, her songs are kinda catchy.
(HAHAHA really ma.)
Only the other day I was like "I'm not listening to Gaga!"
Then proceeded to delete all her songs from iTunes..
Then I went to take a shower and the first thing that came inside
My brain to sing

(I always sing in the toilet, the commonly annoyed Jas will know)

is "Rah-ra-ra-ah-ah"

...

And it was said that this sentence is written to cleverly represent the Sun God, Ra.

I don't know lahh this stuff is confusing
And my brain can't seem to digest it.

So is she safe for consumption or not.
Darn it's 1pm gotta go college, BYE.

*Pray I find a parking*

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Yeah my birthday means nothing.

2010-09-26T19:19:00.002+08:00

Yeah coz I am so worthless.

Coz it's so hard for you to have dinner to endure 1 hour with dad
For my birthday.
Coz I ignore how much you don't wanna see him
And I don't understand your feelings.
Coz it never occured to you that I'd like to hang out as a family for my birthday.

It's not ABOUT ANY FUCKING DINNER.
IT' NOT ABOUT EATING.
It's about celebrating my birthday dammit.

And YEAH IS IT MY FUCKING FAULT
That I feel like crying when YOU don't wanna go for my birthday dinner?
I don't need you to come in my room and tell me I'm such a cry baby.
I don't need it.
I don't need you to come in and tell me that

I shouldn't cry over such a small thing and that

To be a grown up I need to be strong.

I am fucking strong, and I did that BY MYSELF.
WITHOUT YOUR HELP.
It may be something small to you,

But family has always been an issue for me,
SO IF YOU DON'T GET IT,
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Not everyone see everything the same way as you
And I don't need you to come in my room and patronize me
When I am already down and hear you fucking making fun of me.
WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOES THAT?!

AND YOU SAY I DON'T CARE ABOUT PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.
WHAT THE HELL?

The other day I only ask if you can fetch me home.
I never DEMAND you fetch me home.
Then you say "I'm not so free, I want to go and sleep."
How do you think that makes me feel?!
Then I was like OKAY FINE,

If you can't fetch me home no need to use such a tone

Cannot fetch cannot fetch la, no need nag so much.
And you talk about caring for YOUR FEELINGS?

WALAOWEHHHHH.

Whatever la okay.
Whatever.
I didn't even force you to go to my birthday dinner.
You said you not going, I never said anything.
I didn't force you.
But I am unhappy.
Is that NOT ALLOWED?
DID I MAKE YOU GO?
DID I??
I was in my room HELLO.
You're the one who knock on the door wanting to come in
And give me the condescending talk.
I don't need you to tell me how I should FEEL.

I'm sorry but you are being very unreasonable sometimes.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Updates

2010-09-25T20:02:00.001+08:00

Right.
So my blog is constantly berhabukking it should be vintage now.
I wanna change the layout, the other day I actually got inspiration
But as usual, dah forget.

You'd be surprised how many mojos you can lose.
I used to blog everyday.
I can write awesome songs.
I change my blog layout every other month.
Now?

Tak tau la.
Do you think.. I got OLD?!

Sometimes I don't feel like myself anymore..
(This could be the period talking)

Also, I learnt a lot about myself lately.
I have a knack of fighting for my rights even if it doesn't matter.
Like if my mom tells me not to wash my hair, I'd wash it.
It's oily, I wash la!
Then it starts getting obsessive, like when someone tells me to do or not do something,
I confirm do it JUST TO PROVE that I will get my way.
And sometimes forgetting that I will hurt someone feelings.

But then it's not fair.
I mean it is my right whad.. and their request is so absurd.
Ahhh I just wanna say so many things but then I will hurt people's feelings.
Now all of you who are reading may or may not know what I'm talking about,
And you can see me ranting with such VAGUE ideas
That eventually you all leave the blog with a big "HUH" in your mind.
Thus, wasting your time.

Sorry.

I just disagree with the fact that you MUST stand in someone's side
Even if they are wrong just because they are very close to you.
Why can't I be neutral?
I mean, if you are right I'd back you up, but if you are wrong..
It's not saying that I'll go against you, but I won't back you up either.
Just quiet.
Cannot meh?

I know I have very very strong principles.
And a very clear sense of right and wrong.
It's just that I don't want to spoil anyone, as much as I love them.
If it's wrong, it's wrong no matter who you are.
And just because I think you're wrong doesn't mean I hate you.
Are our relationship so thin that one small thing like that
Can break us?

Some people just refuse to see the big picture.
I mean, like my dog, Kenzhi.
He has a tick on his head.
I have to take it out, and he whines in pain.
But better a temporary pain,
Than let the tick manifest itself in his body,
That make millions of babies who then makes more millions of babies,
Thus infesting our whole house.
Who is that helping, really?
Right?.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

The Sphinx Who Cried.

2010-09-12T03:26:00.002+08:00

Spend some time and you will know,

Her friends they come but they will go,

What she does you never know,

She hides behind a mask of gold.

She speaks with sadness sorrow and tears,

She speaks of burden bad experiences and fears,

But all the words the meaning they bear,

With time they dissolve and they will be clear

She buys you silver she buys you gold,

She lets you wonder secrets untold,

One day she shines, her colours will show,

Sooner or later her story unfolds.

She speaks with expertise with glint in her eyes,

The people she speaks of in her story they die,

Here is the hello, here comes the goodbye,

Who can possibly know you better than I?

A poem I made since I'm procrastinating with my assignments,

HAHA!

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

HAHAHA YES.

2010-09-04T22:18:00.002+08:00

I am gonna post a few items that I am okay with receiving.

Because I don't like to accept things that might cost you

And I don't like pretending to like it.

But before I give you a list of things that aren't expensive
I'm gonna give you a list of things I don't want for my birthday.

Things you should avoid giving me

if you care for your life:

1. Cake.

2. Anyone singing the birthday song with me in the middle.
3.A Mug/Cup.

4. A friggin photo frame.

5. Any soft toy excluding domos.

6. Girly-coloured stuff.

7. A pat on the back.

8. A e-card/e-present/e-house/anything VIRTUAL (WTF)

9. Household Items.

10. Food

Things I would like:
1. A simple-designed cap.

2. A laptop cleaning kit.

3. Lunch/Dinner.

4. Movies.

5. Kisses and hugs.

6. Doing anything together.

7. Guitar capo.

8. Awesome guitar pick

9. Anything in victorian style

10. Blusher (Loreal, Rosy Cheeks)

11. A Semi-D. HAHAHAHA.

This shall come in handy for my Potato Potahto!!

2010-09-04T21:27:00.000+08:00

How to make the cream sauce:

Ingredients:
100ml cream 200ml beef stock Chinese soya sauce	1 tbsp white flour Salt, white pepper

Instructions:

Swirl the boiling water or beef stock in a pan.
Add cream and thicken with white flour if preferred.
Season well with salt and pepper.
Serve the meatballs with the sauce, freshly boiled potatoes, uncooked lingonberry jam and salad. There you have the perfect Swedish meal!

This is soooooooo me.

2010-09-04T17:41:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-

CURSE OF THE BIG BOOBS.

2010-08-31T23:10:00.002+08:00

You'd think only in clubs you'd get hit on.
You're wrong.
It will happen..
Even while you're eating steamboat at a restaurant.
=.="

You know, before this,
Whoever stares at my boobs,
I get afraid.
I get really offended, yeah
(Shut up about the being proud thing okay, feels NOTHING like it.)
But i was too scared to say anything to defend myself.
So, I thought after the second time I went to Petaling Street,
I thought why the hell scared wehhhh!
I will look into their eyes with full of hate and strike shame into their hearts.
It worked, usually anyway.
One even said sorry lol.

Anyway, yeah I do get stared at a lot.
I wish it was younger men sometimes.
It's always uncles that hit on me =.=

But it was today that blew my mind.
Not only did it now strike any shame,
It actually made them think I was interested in talking to them.
SWT.

I was at Restoran Talipon today.
I was wearing shorts and a tank top.
And it wasn't even low cut.
But my cleavage still showing la big boobs wear whad also show wan.
Unless i wear a habit =.="
So I was piling my plate with crabsticks and lamb and ham
And walking back to my table when I notice 2 pair of eyes staring at me.
So I stared death at them.
I had NO SMILE on my face.
This happened a few more times.
Each time I stared longer and longer.
One of them turned his head when I caught him staring.
I was like "HAHA FUCKING LECHER!"
And then they had beer.
And the staring increased.
Until one time where I could feel more than 1 pair of eyes looking at me
Which is like effing obvious because they turned their heads around
Within my peripherals. You would think they would be more subtle.
So I just spoke up an said "YES?"
Then they were like "Yes?"
OHO VERY FUNNY.
"Can you please stop staring?"
"Ok, sorry."
You would think that was the end of it.

"Excuse me!" One of the guys said to me.
I was holding my coconut eating the flesh.
I stared at them.
Don't ask me WHY THE HELL I bother.
The guy hold up his beer as if asking for a toast.
I just stared daggers at them, then shook my head.
He looked rejected, then cont talking to his bunch of lecher friends again.
You would also think that would be the end of it.

Later after like 3 more bottles of beer
He actually walked over to our table with my sister, Zoe and I
And said
"Would you like to join me and my friends?"
Inwardly I was like
WALIAO WEHHHHHH
WHICH PART OF SHAKING HEAD AND STARING DAGGERS
AND ASKING HIM TO STOP STARING
Gave him the idea that I would EVER be interested?
So my sis just said
"Please don't disturb us, we are having our meal."
"Ok, sorry."

...
And in between every of those incidents he was trying hard to catch my eye,
Which again is very obvious because he had to turn his body at least 150 degrees
Just to face me.
Pathetic.

In the end as they were leaving and I was praising the Lord,
My sister joked "Later he gonna say good bye to you hehe."
I rolled my eyes.
...
"BYE BYE!"

...

Fuck THIS!
-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Is love important?

2010-08-22T02:59:00.002+08:00

To each their own.
Love can mean many things.
For some it could be for their companions,
their pets,
their hobby/passion,
their "intellectual property",
their job even.

So when Heng Yip asks
"Do you love with your heart or your brain?"
It was hard to say.

I answered,
Well, if the object of my affection is a drug dealer,
As much as I love him, I'd have to leave him.
He said then I must love with my brains.
Then I said to him again
If the drug dealer was my father
(hypothetically speaking because
I neither love my father nor is he a drug dealer.. that I know of..),
Okay I lied. I do love him in a complicated way.
Anyway yeah, if he was, well I'd have to help him.
And that is an act of love.
And I'd just say it's too subjective.
So I'd have to answer both depending on the situation.

Anyway if the person is a drug dealer I won't fall for him anyway.
So I guess I don't love with my brain,
I start with it.

Everyone needs loving though.
Those who didn't get married have probably lost someone nobody can replace.
So love is important.
Because without love you wouldn't do anything.

Without love for yourself or your future
You wouldn't wake up in the morning to get to school.
Without love you won't have any hobbies.
Without love you can't keep any friends.
Without love for money you won't strive for your career.

I was going to blog about something super emo,
But I think I had a bad can of tuna and I kinda forgot about my anger.
Ouch. =/

Ahoy Mateys!

2010-08-15T19:11:00.002+08:00

I know it's been a long time.
Miss me tak?? xD

No I won't blog in Malay.
I think it was because of blogging in malay that made me wanna blog less.
Lesser than usual.
Aha.

So, new sem new faces.
Old faces still around unfortunately but nevertheless, the new faces
Are distractive enough which is amazing
Because the shithead demands for attention like
Bees to honey.

Okay sour note aside,
I almost finished unpacking my stuff.
Okay, to be precise I'm not really unpacking,
More of like cleaning out my room while I'm at it.
Most of you (like 4) knows I moved back in my house.
Most of you who knew that would also know that a week ago I moved out.
Boy did I feel independent.
No troubles for mom, my brother was smiling coz he has the car all to himself.
I was happy Kenzhi didn't have to give me a guilt trip to play with him.
And I don't have to trouble my mom!!

But lo and behold, I seem to always forget how people are never as they seem.
Do you know someone who's always smiling sweetly and talking to you?
Asking for your help and calling you "sis" in order to wreck havoc to your "nice" radar
And giving you a false sense of security?
Fuck em.
No matter how nice you may think they are never trust them.
Only those whom you KNOW are nice can be trusted.
And that takes years to build.
And they ask why is the world so cold.
Bleh.

Anyway I had to move out just right after I was getting comfy in my room,
Moving my bed and the cupboard to the place.
Isn't fun?
Thanks to this little bitch I had to move out.
Trust people to sabo you when they don't know where you're coming from.
You add me on facebook la. You dare.

Heh heh I sound scary xD

Well, at least my room now can say all mine dee.
My sis went to SG to work *bawls*
As much as I wanted to give her a good farewell,
I didn't manage to.
On one night on the way to dad's home
I silently told jie how I would miss her when she leaves,
With a small tear sliding down my face, surprisingly.
She didn't hear me.
And I didn't trust my voice to repeat.
Guess she went to SG without knowing how much I'd miss her.

My brother asked me why I came back.
I felt hurt, not like a knife, more like a thumbtack went thru my heart.
I said "It's fine, I'm not using your car."
"Why not? Then we can share the installment together."
Sure.
I said no thanks.
I resent to being taken advantage of again.
Since he told my father's staff that he hates me.
Well, not the same to you, but almost there so keep up the good work.

Meanwhile, the happy thing is I get to eat potatoes in Bazaar Ramadhan.
And I do have friends who care, just that they aren't in the picture all the time.
Bu at least they are better than those who are always beside you.
I may care for them more than one would,
But I'd rather say I care for them but they not me,
Than say they cared for me but I didn't appreciate.

And I need to appreciate all the things I have.
And despite what some of you may think about me,
I do know how to appreciate.
Just that a certain one of you had to go through a rather uncommon situation
Where I had to be blunt. And I already expected the consequences, although
Also some few surprises. Nevertheless,
Better late than never, and you can't always get what you want.
But close to it is good enough.

They say make your enemies your friends.
Well, I think they really meant
"Make them feel like you friend...
then STRIKE!!!!1!"

Despicable Me.

2010-07-24T21:41:00.002+08:00

Pelik betul yang tayangan yang sepatutnya kelakar telah
Berakhir dengan mataku basah?
Air mata yang bukannya disebabkan ketawa tetapi kesedihan?
Selepas menonton wayang Despicable Me,
Ia telah memberikan aku "insight" tentang kebolehan saya terhadap
Melepasi (get over?) perkara-perkara yang tidak gembira buat saya.
Sebenarnya aku tidak pun pandai sangat mengatasi masalah aku ini.
Ada apa-apa pun yang menyedihkan aku,
Aku sebenarnya hanya mengkurungkan dalam otak aku buat suatu masa.
Jikalau ada pula apa-apa yang membuatkan aku teringatkan perkara itu,
Ia masih mampu melukakan saya.

Semalam selepas menonton the scene where
Dru menciumkan anak-anak angkatnya itu,
Aku teringatkan bapa aku dan bagaimana dia tidak pernah buatkan seperti itu.
Tidak pernah, dan juga tidak akan.
Tiba-tiba aku terus nangis.
Saya berasa sangat susah hati.
Aku ingat aku tak peduli pun all this while.

But I do.
It hurt me so badly that I was sobbing through the exit.
And I was thinking of all the things a daddy could have done to me,
Which I have never felt.
I try not to complain.. but yeah.
I want a daddy. I know I never will.
I thought I was over it, but all these while,
Like other things about me which makes me sad,
Are not gone. There are simply hidden from view.
He says he's always there for me.
But on the one time I really needed his help,
He told me he was busy.

I could still remember even if I was so young.
Okay I wasn't that young,
But that night I forgot what happen.
My mom caned me, ripping my pajamas.
I was bleeding. And I wanted for him to come and fetch me away,
I have had enough of my mom, I don't wanna stay there anymore.
My dad understands me, he's willing to listen.
The naivety.
He was playing snooker.
And it didn't bother him that I was crying.
That was one lesson I learnt that first night I ran away from home.

Daddy says he brought the new house for us so we could stay there.
During the holidays I assume.
But he never bought us beds.
Supposedly what was to be our room only contained laundry and a christmas tree.
And they don't even celebrate christmas.
But now the room holds a double decker bed.
For his staff. One or two young girls.
Perhaps they will always be better daughter than I ever will, daddy.
I never learnt how to love you like a daughter.
As you have not done for me.
Money can only bring us this far,
And even that you hesitate.
I don't know how to deal with this...
I try to think of this in the best ways possible daddy.
I don't want to see you in that light.
But if I talk to you about it last time,
You're only gonna come up with 2 amazing excuses, and a hug.
And it will change nothing, just like last time.

I face it now that I will never have a daddy like Drew.
Or even a dad at all.

Terima kasih atas segala yang telah kamu berikan,
Aku bersumpah untuk memberi balik segalanya.
Sebab bukannya banyak pun.

.

Begitulah kehidupan

2010-07-12T05:24:00.003+08:00

Bila sesuatu perkara yang baik berlaku,
Pastinya seterusnya, dengan cepatnya akan bertukar menjadi masam.
Adakah begitu susah untuk bertoleransi dengan aku?
Esok adalah finals aku
(Ok lah aku tau aku tidak sepatutnya bertaip disini..)
Dan aku ingin ke rumah Jas untuk bermalam,
Tengoklah aku sekarang,
Inilah perkara yang akan kubuat kalau aku terus dirumah.
Kalau kat rumah Jas aku takde broadband ke apa,
Bolehlah aku menaruh seluruh perhatian untuk mengulang kaji.
Aku minta abang untuk munurunkan aku kat Inti esok.
Dia cakap pula esok dia nak ke gym,
Kalau aku bermalam takde orang nak hantar akak balik.
Apa benda??!
Gym kau lebih penting kalau dibanding dengan finals aku ker?
Apa logik ni?!
Adakah masalah aku kalau kau nak ke gym?
Kalau kau yang guna kereta, tentulah kamu yang bertanggungjawab!
Dia cakap aku pulak yang menyebabkan dia tak dapat hadir ke session2 gymnya tu.
Aku tak pedulilah, esok mintak ibu bawa je.
Yang akak tu dialah yang handle.
It takes two hands two clap bro.
Kalau kan nak aku bertoleransi, kamu mulakan lah dulu.
Kan kamu yang lebih tua?
Buat apa pula asyik sayaaaaaaaaaaa je yang nak buat nice nice tu.
Sheesh.

And he still owes me money!!

Selamat Malam!

2010-07-12T01:47:00.003+08:00

Ataupun pagi?
Seperti sekalian tahu, (tahu ke semua?)
Bahawa saya tidak mendapat kredit dalam mata pelajaran Bahasa Malaysia tahap SPM.
Untuk mengimprove (saya seriously cannot think of what's improve in BM)
Bahasa Malaysia, aku akan mencuba berfasih,
ataupun menulis kalau hendak lebih tepat lagi dalam BM.
(I have a feeling I'm making a fool out of myself..)

I was thinking hard what's improve.. and the closest one I could come up with was
Memperbaiki.

Anyway,
Saya seorang gadis yang berumur 18.
Pengalamanku masih belum tertulis lagi.
Namun begitu, kawan-kawan aku berkata
Yang aku ini pun agak matang juga
Dari segi pemikiran, pakaian..
Okay itu saja, haha.

Akan tetapi kadang kadang salah satu kawan
Akan terlupa yang aku hanya seorang budak.
Aku masih memerlukan benda-benda yang bersesuaian dengan tahap umur aku.
Walau seberapa matang aku cuba berlakon,
Aku masih seorang budak.

Recently
Aku merasa ketekanan dari kawan-kawanku yang berumur lebih besar daripada aku.
Mereka ingatkan yang aku akan selalunya memilih pilihan yang betul,
Walaupun aku hanya seorang gadis yang meluahkan pendapat saya dari segi logik
Dan bukannya pengalaman.
Dengan semua pilihan yang aku telah lakukan,
Aku memilih dengan hati yang takut,
Dengan perasan keseorangan.
Walaupun motif aku adalah betul,
Cara aku menghandalkan hal-hal masih perlu diperbaiki.
Dan tentunya, akibatnya tidak secantik yang aku inginkan.

Aku tidak biasa meluahkan hal-hal yang merisaukan aku,
Sebab aku tidak hendak simpati daripada sesiapa pun.
Aku suka dilihat oleh orang lain sebagai seorang yang kuat,
berdikari dan matang
Tetapi ada juga masa yang aku berasa takut,
Aku masih memerlukan seorang yang boleh memandu hidup aku,
Seorang yang aku boleh memandang tinggi, seorang sebagai contoh.

Mungkin aku perasan,
Tapi diantara semua kawan-kawan aku,
Aku berasa

Oh what the fuck am I doing,
I'm just procrastinating so I can put off
Studying for journalism.

Yuna - Dan Sebenarnya Cover!

2010-07-08T22:05:00.000+08:00

It's like my world turned upside down!

2010-07-07T23:30:00.002+08:00

Okay la, a small part anyway.
You know the feeling where you hate this shithead a lot
And your friend is now this shithead's best pal?

Makes you think if you yourself is the shithead right?
So wtf, am I??!

I have no right to make him hate shithead as much as I do,
Since I'm the one affected and this guy is just my friend,
And he knows for a fact that I hate shithead a lot...
What does that mean?

Okay I bet It actually doesn't mean anything,
I mean just because shithead dumped me like rubbish
That doesn't mean he's a bad person, just.. UGH I HATE HIM
THEREFORE I HAVE NO GOOD WORDS FOR HIM.

I just wanna say I miss my friend without saying it
Because aku ada ego and as much as I was sorry for being mean
It doesn't wash away the fact that it torn us apart or that it was the truth.

So this is what you get for standing your ground.
You lose a friend!!
RANT RANT RANT!!

And a message to a guy who once claimed he liked me better
(Not about the guy mentioned above, btw)
If you have something to hide that means you're feeling guilty.
Why hide things from me unless you're scared at being found out?
It's not like I can actually tear both of you apart just because I don't like you.
Sheesh, I respect her, unlike you.

My assignments are shitty.
I screwed up, estimated wrongly my timing.
Now I gotta work hard for my finals because that's all I have.

I lost more things than gaining this sem.
But the small few things I gained are totally awesome.
For one, I am going to Sydney with Salvation Army youths!
My first time ever going over an entire ocean, I am thrilled.
I lost 2 friends, and 1 potential bf, and one potential crush.
I don't really care about material, really,
It's people I care most for,
They are the most priceless to me.
So.. although I put up a strong front..
Sometimes I wish there was someone who can look through me and say
"Are you okay?" because as much as I smile,
I still cry. Drama babeh. Haha. But it's true.
It's like you hate yourself because you know it's so dramatic
But you still cry anyway?

I hate how I can't name the things or people I am talking about.
It is my blog.
But the trouble is not worth the fight.

I just wanna be accepted as who I am.

I am bz but yet here I am.

2010-07-04T05:48:00.002+08:00

Seems like I pick the most uncanny time to blog.
Also, I pick the time when I am at the busiest.
Hurray me for procrastination!

Sometimes I wonder if I am "fun".
I mean, I'm up for clubbing.. maybe once half a year.
I don't like drinking.
I hate smoke.
I like reading books.
God I sound like a nerd.

So does that make me boring?
That's my default:
Staying at home
Sleep
Lie on my bed thinking
Reading
Going online till dunno when's morning
Sleep

Sometimes I wish I was more fun.
If it wasn't for reading and going online,
I might as well be a cat!

I guess I'm just not cut out for it.
Sometimes I wonder if I skipped my youth.
I mean.. I can be fun if I want to..
But not all the time..
Or you can say more often than not.

I don't have much to say,
I'm reserved.
Most things I say are either lame, or just wrong.
Or I possibly make things worse with what I have to say.
=.=

Sometimes I think I should just go marry someone as boring as me.
Then they won't expect too much from me.
In fact they'd like it :D.

Okay la cannot I will bore myself to death,
Like I'm not boring enough.

I bet I'm already boring you now.
I bet you're probably closing the window now.
I bet you're prob -

Versatile blogger..

2010-07-01T00:17:00.002+08:00

Doubt that's me.
First of all, I don't think I'm hat versatile.
In fact, I bloody hate change.
I'm comfortable the way I am, and I like to think I know it all, lol.
But Eric thinks I am and gave me the Versatile Blogger Award.. so..
Hmmm.
Actually not a big deal, because you have to share the award with 15 other bloggers,
And that means many people..
Heck this is not even an honour, now it's a chore.
=.=

Anyway the rules are these (which I intend to break.)

1. List 7 random things about myself
2. Share the award with 15 other bloggers
3. Link and let those bloggers know
4. Thank and send back the love to the blogger who awarded me this by linking her back.

Blogger is not a word in a dictionary.
Change la, blogger is even a profession now.

7 random things about myself. Okay.
1. I'm random.
2. I like potatoes.
3. I like to write stupid songs and laugh.
Example:
Cunning and sly,
You ate my pie,
Wipe your dirty mouth off
With my damn cloth
And said thank you,
Well g**dammit eff you!
4. I'm actually very lame.
5. I'm actually supposed to be doing my assignments now.
6. I'm going to Sydney in January.
I wonder if I should do a video spoof of Dawn's for fun.
C. I am random.

I'm not gonna do the rest because this award is a lie.
It's not an honour, it's just a god damn tag.
Lalala~

Twitter and Facebook.

2010-06-14T21:02:00.002+08:00

Things I never thought I'd warm up to.
I was a very loyal friendster back then.
I also remember the time I first started twitter.
After submitting my first post, I felt stupid (it was about mas selamat).
LOL.

Today my journalism teacher praised my assignment blog.
He told the class that they should take a look at mine.
Dam banggaaaaaaaaa, haha.
After class I went up to Jas' place and read my assignment blog again,
So proud, hehe.

Okay la, honestly speaking I don't have much to type,
I mean, it's sad to have to come to this,
To update my blog not because I have something to say,
But for the sake of saying something.
I wonder if I should just ditch this blog all together.
Last time betul betul semanga gila about my blog,
Everyday one post!
Come back from school je blog blog blog.
Sometimes up to 3 posts a day.
Every 2 weeks change blogskin.
So what changed?

This made me realize that, as much as I am still me,
To others I may already be different.
I won't say I've changed, more to that I've grown up.
So with this said,
We should all cherish all the friends dear to our heart,
And make sure we chat often before they grow too much
That you just can't keep up with all the difference anymore.

It's like how if you hang out with someone so much,
That you don't realize how long their hair is getting,
But another friend whom hasn't been around so much
Will notice the difference.

It's not that we've changed..
We've just grown.

Just realize my post title and the content of this post does not tally.
HAHA.

Continuing..

2010-06-12T21:57:00.002+08:00

Okay I really wanted to come back and continue it but..
I forgot.

On the other hand I had a great dinner,
I really love cluster beans.

I was googling for what petai is called in english.
Here is what I found:-

I see.

My blog is totally dead.

2010-06-12T17:33:00.003+08:00

From having 200-300 views a week,
It has now reduced to 47.
I didn't check nuffnang so long, that I totally had no idea.
From almost 1k views a month it has now turn to like 200.
That's sad.

But I guess the HTML language is so advanced now
That is should just quit doing blogskins.
They load at a snail's pace anyway.

Been very very busy.
I don't know when the hell is the last time I actually posted anything personal.
To me, this blog is really like an online diary of me.
But eversince I realized how some people judge me for what I do,
I'm like.. censor myself.
I even thought of writing a blog only my real friends see.
Then I thought. It's not like I'm some celebrity.
This is my blog, why should there be a public me,
Then a real me?
I am me.
People who want to judge me should just keep it to themselves,
Because your life is not perfect either, love.

Okay, hmmm.
Studies.
Last semester I got straight Bs.
Was disappointing because my IT subject, the answer were practically given to me.
And I only got a B+. WTF?
Felt useless.
Nevertheless, I'll try better this sem.
I really wanna get an A in something.
I mean, I got an A in the first sem (I'm in my 3rd now)
But that's for English and that doesn't really count. (And it's not A+ at that!)
So, there's only 3 subjects I'm taking this semester,
Which are:
Journalism.
Media Issue and Contents.
Introduction to Research.
It's not supposed to be hectic just for having 3 subjects,
But because this is a short semester
Basically they squeezed like 19 weeks into 14.
(or something like that.)
Plus we have an event to run,
And me and Jason Tan, my classmate
Are on the publicity team.
We're in charge of making posters, flyers, teasers,
And we have to come up with a few for the lecturers to choose,
So I get stressed thinking about the design, and then designing it.
Times 2.
Then we have our weekly assignments,
One movie analysis,
5 news article analysis (you can read them here)
1 feature article,
Research portfollio

Every single week.
Awesome ain't it.
Plus this week I have to take 5 pictures related to our event,
A gallery exibition titled Cultural Fusion
(Since Unity through Diversity is taken.. tell you the story later)
So we had to take pictures through
Event, Portrait, Trend, Human Interest and
Nature/surrounding that portrays Cultural Fusion.
Let me tell you: NOT the easiest thing.
My first batch got rejected, so I have to retake them.
So everything is hectic for me now.

OH SHIT THAT REMINDS ME!
I have to get dressed to go to my grandma's house to take a pic of her
For my portrait!!

Continue my blogpost later!

Liars.

2010-06-08T01:05:00.002+08:00

I perhaps can never stress enough how much I hate liars.
Whether intentional or not, you're trying to hide something.
And yes, that includes white lies.
I do not like them, but I tolerate them, coz one bears good intentions.
No matter how menial the matter may be,
When you lie, it shows off a few things.
Honesty.
Loyalty.
Trust.
Values I matter most.

I just hate being lied to,
It really makes me grind my teeth,
And strum my guitar so hard it's on the verge of putus-ing.

To friends who think I matter enough,
Learn to know that lying is wrong to me.
I despise liars.
Even more than buggers who don't effing use their signals when driving.
There is no need to fear me,
For I have never intimidated anyone.
And I will think before I speak,
And usually do not let anger make the better of me.
So, please, never lie to me.

Like it's already hard enough to trust anybody.
Don't give me a reason to suspect you.
Coz when that happens I will always be suspicious of you motives.
Questioning your intentions.

Surely you don't want that?
Of course, I always try to tell the truth myself,
Even if I do paraphrase my sentence.
So pandai pandai la.

Naughty vandalism-ers..

2010-06-05T03:28:00.000+08:00

No shit.

2010-05-24T00:26:00.001+08:00

Cute!!

2010-05-23T13:17:00.001+08:00

That tickles!
xD.

It's A Miracle!

2010-05-22T22:07:00.002+08:00

Engrish and Pun!

2010-05-22T12:21:00.005+08:00

Morality or Happiness?

2010-05-19T15:20:00.002+08:00

We got to admit.
Relationships are part of everyday life.
Be it with your parents, friends, siblings or pet rock.
There are different kinds of love;
The one where you hang out with your friend because you love her,
Or you bear with your siblings because you love them too.
But when it comes to your significant other,
The decisions you make is like wishing upon a star;
If he/she proposes, should you refuse, it may never come back.
More often than not people stick to their relationship.

I have yet to see any of my friend get married;
If they do, I'd highly suspect someone was being naughty.
So, what I am saying is,
Not everyone gets the chance to marry the (legendary) one.
Sometimes, it's because the time is just right to get married,
Or your parents being the Asians that they are, pressure you,
Or when your partner of 4 years proposes,
Or... hopefully not this: you got knocked up =/.

So as years go by,
Things are going fine, until one fine day,
Someone appears in your life unwanted like a corn in your toe,
And he/she appears to be everything you wanted.
What the hell do yo do?
And of course, he/she does not only fit your preference outwardly
(When you're old it doesn't matter anymore.. I think.)
But the way they run their lives, their interest, everything.
It's just so right.
But you're already married.

Is there a right to do something about it?
Is it wrong to not to anything about it?
Simply ignore?
What do you do when you meet the one after already being married?

Confusing isn't it?
It's either your happiness or your significant other's.
Selfishness, remorse, fear.
Which one is worthy enough to have to sacrifice another?

I suppose if someone ask me this I would have to say..
Based on circumstances.
I am someone who is ready to commit..
If I found a rather suitable one.
I won't commit (not anymore.. emo.) if
I haven't found one close enough to being right,
Because the last person that was looking for the right one has died.
Alone.

And yet, without committing you wouldn't know
If they are even close to right,
Coz if you don't let them in, they won't be able to.
Okay nevermind, back to the topic.

If I was married with children,
And they happen to love their father very much,
And he is okay, I mean, I am bound to love him right,
I married him; then I personally think I would
Stay for the children.
I can declare I love my children even as of now.
Will never let my children suffer was is not theirs.
Unless they are old enough to understand.
But when you're that old already..
What's the point.

However, if I was married but not with children..
Hmm.. then that's a different case.
But then I am someone who wouldn't get married if I didn't love him
Enough to want to live with him!
Well, I hope so.

Who knows in the future I just cant get married,
Went on a blind date, and finally lost my virginity at the tender age
Of ahem 47 and finally got the chance to get hitched?

I hope I won't be that girl!

Anyway.. I am really torn apart with this question myself.
I know the right ting to do is to stay loyal to my husband.
After all, the vows meant something right?
But he's so right!
And yet, humans want what they can't have.
And humans also change.
What could be right is can be horribly wrong few years down the road.
I'd say appreciate what you have,
Coz one bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Okay I just answered my own question.
Happiness are momentary,
True bliss takes work,
Like climbing up a mountain and enjoying the view
Instead of looking at a poster.

Wow, I can put so many proverbs in:
The grass is greener on the other side..
And.. and..

And...

Oh, okay that was it.

Okay you know what, actually this is very subjective
And It's really based on the current situation.

Thank GOD I decided not to use this blog for the
mass com intro to journalism assignment.
Thing could get SOO awkward.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Your mom.

2010-05-16T20:03:00.000+08:00

Eclipse trailer.

2010-05-16T05:51:00.004+08:00

Okay many people don't really like Twilight,
And I've rather turned into a closet fan.
My enthusiasm died down a bit..
But that didn't stop me from getting excited over
The Bree Tenner book and Eclipse.
I just remembered the movie was coming out next month
And went to see the trailer on Youtube.
Well, at least Bella looked prettier.
But what's with the hair?

Spot the photobomber.

2010-05-15T06:52:00.002+08:00

When you see it...

Advertisers.

2010-05-11T18:47:00.001+08:00

Does my blog look like a billboard?
Do I not look like a banana?
Do I not look scary?

MEffers GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BLOG OKAY!
I don't read chinese.
I don't want to click on SEXY LADIES LINKS.
AND the MOST RIDICULOUS,
TO THE COMMENT ON THE LAST POST,
I DID NOT TEACH YOU ANYTHING WITH THE SONY'S ROJAK SONG!!!!
FEAR ME!!!

That will be all.

Advertisers please.
DIE.

PLEASE HELP ME!

2010-05-05T20:03:00.004+08:00

Just click on this and help me win!
It won't make sense lah just click and see k?
Click here!
.

New bags! xD

2010-05-05T03:43:00.006+08:00

I am turning into SUCH a girl.
Went to Sungei Wang with my sister todae.
While searching the whole building from top to bottom looking for the
Sony Ericsson X10 AP kei, I did a little shopping of my own.
You have no idea how long I was on my feet waiting for her.
So instead of just standing there looking stupid while my sis
Ask about her HP again and again, store after store,
I wandered around a little, since I just got my allowance xD

I've been looking for a sophisticated-ish bag for sometime
Which can still look casual enough for normal wear.
I first chose a black pleather one but I have no idea why I chose this instead.
Since it's not black. (I have a thing for black stuff.)
Anyway, here are the bags:

You can't see it, but there are 4 studs at the bottom.
Whatever they are called lah, you know, like luggages?

My sister said it looks too matured for me..
Which after a few moments pondering, have to agree.

But anyway it has two compartments,
So if it is too old for me, I can always give it to my mom! xD

Bought from Sg.Wang for RM49.

***

This is a little black slingbag I've been looking for sometime.
This was cheap enough, so I grabbed it xD

A sling bag! Was looking for a ladies sling bag for a while.

When I told them to bring me another one,
I heard the lady said "Sombongnya."
I give you a calar-ed hp you want???

Bought from Sg.Wang 2ng floor, next to Vincci for RM27.

I like gold touches to my bags xD

Anyway, watched The Crazies with my sister at Pavillion.
Dang, if I knew it was about murder suspense..
I absolutely am afraid to watch movies like these.
LIKE THE HOUSE OF WAX!
It makes me squirm in my seat,
Cover my eyes,
Bite my nails,
SCREEAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!
But it was okay, rate it 7/10.

So, I just came online to post this, so toodles!

.

Disrespecting God or family member?

2010-05-04T00:43:00.003+08:00

Throughout my entire life I've been brought up the christian way.
And now that I've developed my own mind, I would still choose to be who I am.
Religion is a free choice, the only difference if your family don't approve
Is that we don't mention it and practice it in your face.
There is nothing much a parent can do,
At least, it will definitely take more than a few words to change my mind.

I wouldn't say I was rebellious, but I've never had anyone control me.
Not my friends, not my parents, and I've gotten used to that.
Up until recently I have realized that many people are controlled.
I have always opposed to being controlled and being forced to comply,
I LIKE to have my own free will, I do my thing, you do yours.
SHUT UP, LEAVE ME ALONE.
I do not understand when people let their current significant one
Controll them on what they do, where they go.
I will find that utterly and completely ridiculous.
WHY DO THEY GET THE POWER TO DO THAT??
AND WHY DO YOU LET THEM?
They don't even provide the shelter above your head, the one you're under!
Oh, I just repeated myself didn't I?
Don't encourage it sheesh.
You want them to be like that when you're married?
I don't think so.
One thing when it comes to relationships (to me anyway),
If you're acting in a way that you won't hold up after a marriage, drop it.
You're lying to your loved one.
In a way your cheating them so that they will marry you,
And thus your belang appears, thus a divorce.
Discourage it, please, for the sake of having just ONE single happy marriage.

Anyway, I had a very interesting talk with my dad & sister today.
They were discussing about honoring the dead by holding joss sticks,
How Christians do not do that and how it's very disrespectful.
Hearing that brought me back to the time
Where my grandmama and grandpapa passed away.
I refused to hold the joss stick.
And I remember tai kuma was very very upset.
And so I did, since I was scared.

My dad told me that if our God was so upset that we were just merely
Holding joss sticks to pay respects to our family member,
Then he is a very selfish and unreasonable God.
But I rebutted.
Whoever said that that was the ONLY way a person can pay respect?
That was a buddhist's way to pay respect, not ours.
Whoever said it was the only way?
He said they have been doing that for years so just do it.
You're going to condemn your loved ones just because of your religion?

Here is what I think:
I can shoot that right back at you.
If grandmama will be angered that I do not hold a joss stick,
But knows I am sincerely paying my respects by bowing my head,
Then I really don't know what to say.

There are many forms of paying respects.
Holding joss sticks is not a even a chinese tradition, it's a buddhist practice.
I did not insist on sprinkling holy water or singing amazing grace,
It was not about religion; it was about respect.

I do not evangelize to you, so please respect me with the same manner.
Holding traditions are important, but only if they reflect good value.
To insist on going through with something just because it's been around
For a long time is not a good or valid enough excuse.
It even sounds very backward.
If countries are run like that then..
Oh yeah we have Malaysia!!

One thing I do not like about certain practices in Christianity:
When pastors ask for their repentance when people are on their deathbed.
Asking for them to convert.
Kaoz, very disrespectful.
My question is WHY?
If they receive Christ on their deathbed,
Do they get a guaranteed ticket to heaven?
I think that's what they want them to believe.
And if that is so, hoho that's very funny.
So easy can get to heaven?
Then why do we have to be so religious for?
Wait until we die lah!

Solution: to holding joss sticks anyway.
I realize that to me, a joss stick is meaningless.
(No offense, but let me make it less offensive.
Joss stick to me is just flammable piece of stick as is
Holy water just plain ol' water to someone else.)
So, why not just hold it, to please them?
I'm not worshiping anything,
By holding it and bowing down my head I have only come to feel silly.
I do not believe in it, and technically when I hold it,
I'm to believe I'm just holding sticks I can write my name in the air with.
So, why the big commotion?
There, problem solved.

And it's about paying respects!
SHEESH.

Just sayin'.

2010-05-03T11:34:00.003+08:00

This to those who thought Taylor Swift can sing.
Little did we know those who sang her songs in karaoke was far better,
HAHAHA!

Nice voice!

2010-05-03T01:12:00.001+08:00

It's like talent runs in the family or something, you know?
This little clip is of Little Miss Hoi Yan a.k.a Isabel.

Cute you till you die.

2010-05-01T06:09:00.001+08:00

I hereby name this piece of art "The Party Pooper".

LOL.

2010-04-30T23:28:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time since I've laid my eyes on Maple,
And I kinda started again, and there are so many changes,
I honestly don't know how to keep up.
But but out of all the changes, I think this is worthy to be shared.

Seriously very perverted.
I guarantee, whoever sees it sure that thing kena kill first.
Geram see that face!!
Hahahahaha xD
Okay back to Maple chiongg!!
By the way Windy kor,
If you wanna find me I'm in Izar, add me by the IGN you see above.

Customized wallpapers!

2010-04-30T07:36:00.007+08:00

I've always had this habit if personalizing
Everything that can be personalized.
It started with my blog, and everything grew from there.
I remember how often I used to change my blogskin,
And how many wallpapers I saved in the old desktop
Just so I can change whenever.

I guess in a way I should thank Mr.Lim,
Because last year when I was working for him as a personal assistant,
He threw me in front of his iMac and told me to play with Photoshop
Till I am familiar with the tools. For an entire day D8
I am pretty okay with creating graphics now,
But to make someone look slimmer or whatnot I have never tried,
So don't bother asking me doing that.
Anyway, eversince I got my laptop last september,
I have been making my own wallpapers and I think I'm getting better ^^
Here are some of em'.

This was my first ever wallpaper.
If you can see on the billboard, it has labels.
That's because I used to put icons on them after setting them to be ungrided.
So then I can place my icons anywhere and thus make it seem like
An interactive wallpaper ^^
The thing next to it is actually my timetable.

Somehow it just stuck with me that I will create buttons
To fit the icons. I find it very very traditionally boring
To have them at the left side in 2 rows.. come on.
Blah.

This is one of the wallpapers I made for my babe, Kash.
It was altered after one of my wallpapers.
It's not here, but it's pretty much similar to the one above.
If you noticed, I didn't create buttons for my icons anymore.
That's because I'm using rocketdock.
Jasnitha introduced me to this software;
She found it while searching for
"How to make your computer look more like a Mac."
Mac freaks, haha!
It's pretty, but it kinda lags by computer a bit,
But my com sucks anyway.

This was made for my semester 2.
Obviously it's a blackboard, and I started
Downloading brushes from deviantART.
Somehow I just made it a must to put my
Trademark somewhere on the wallpaper,
Big enough that no matter where you look you won't miss it. xD

This is the one I just finished.
I started integrating images from the net and even pics of myself.
(Vain, vain!)
I'm kinda proud of it, and I think I'm getting better at making
Wallpapers! xD
This one was inspired when I was making the blogskin you are seeing now.

So..
I guess I am saying if you have a request,
I wanna see how well I can perform.
So ask me, maybe?
^^

***
Just realized how ugly my previous ones were.
Maybe I just got lucky with the latest one..
*bows head in shame*

My First Heels.

2010-04-29T22:13:00.014+08:00

Yeah... to be honest,
I've always been wearing clothes that don't belong to me.
Been wearing clothes that doesn't fit me decently,
Shoes that gives me bruises or sores, clothes that makes me look old.
I mean, you know things are bad when you get in class on the first day,
And everybody wonders why the hell is the office girl sitting in our class?
So I never had heels before,
And I never bought any until recently..
Where I learnt to indulge myself in shopping..
Not necessarily a good trait haha I assume!
But nevertheless, I love my new shoes and I wanna show them off!

The Demure One
I actually bought this 1 size too big.. T,T

I bought these from Vincci on a sale; RM23.

Kinda dusty, but it's very nice right?

I find this height just right; high enough to accentuate your legs,
Short enough that you can still keep your balance.
I used some leader pads from scholl to paste at the heels.
They're still kinda loose, but at least they stay on.

The Casual Punk!
I find these very me; subtle style.

It was some chaplang brand in TimeSquare though; RM30.

The stars come off easily as they hook on to each other
When you brush your legs together.
So I gotta be careful coz 1 of em' stars came off already T.T

Again, perfect height!! =D =D =D
Then at least when you get drunk you can still walk in them xD

I seriously love them. They go with almost any of my clothes,
And it's subtle enough for casual wear.

Bad exposure. Cannot bloody wait till I get my DSLR!

And mom said very cowgirl-ish though =.="

Here are some random pictures I have in my phone.
I took them some time ago, but I never really got to it.

Kenzhi!

Adorable xD

And Kash!!
She's hot. *Smacks lips*

Records

2010-04-27T22:28:00.003+08:00

You never know when you need them.
I admit, I am bored,
And I admit I'm stupid for not getting over it.
I decided to see that old blog eventhough it hasn't been updated.
I looked through his links, and lo and behold, 2 familliar names.
I remember how creeped out he was,
And by doing this I feel very creeped out myself.
So yeah, being a girl I am damn kepoh I admit.
I look back the old post she wrote during the times we were "together".
And there it is. Just another confirmation.
Checking msn chat logs,
While he was flirting, he was also dressing some girl up.
All I can say is they match.
I can see he loves this girl a lot,
And he doesn't want me to come in their relationship.
Because I was an open fling. I am so easy.
Well, good for him that he's not a complete douchebag.
But it is still his fault that he lied.
Wait, rephrase, it's ALWAYS been his fault.
I did nothing wrong.
I was simply responding to a feeling I haven't gotten in a long time.
I may be easy at that time, but what I had was real.
And now he has the guts to talk bad about me behind my back?
I mean.. his friends I knew this "M" guy, he doesn't smile at me anymore.
Every time I see his unsmiling face I wanna whack that fucker up.
HOW DARE YOU talk bad about me, or whatever it is.
Fuck you la, you have only brought me more stress,
Even after I left you.

I do not have to prove anything.
Why do I have to prove that I am better off without him?
Why, why do I allow him to make me feel so unwanted?
That I was rubbish?
I shouldn't compare, and as much as I would like to think
I feel smarter than her, she is the one that has him.
So, is this ego or do I still have feelings?
Because I absolutely hate him right now.
Ughh.. this is not the right time.

Booze me up tmr night jie. Clubbing!
The place to make yourself feel fatter.
Weeee.

Discover

2010-04-27T21:46:00.002+08:00

*Verse 1*
Hey, life was never fair, Has nobody told you,
Boy you're such a fool,
Lift up your chin don't frown,
Stop those tears from falling, Please don make a sound,

Don't you know that time will make you hurt and shake you
Bound or break you if you cry?
Rub those tears and stand aside coz'
Life may break you it may shake you
Bound or break you but open up your eyes,
Discover..

*Chorus*
Life brings you down once in a while,
But if you wait and see listen to me, it will all go up eventually,
It may seem so far, may even seem impossble,
Whatever it is, just smile.

*Verse 2*
Hey pick up the pieces, Try your best to put them back together now,
Give up on givin' up, Don't u know that worries only bring you down,

Don't you know that if you wake up,
Use your strength to push yourself up from the ground,
You will start to realize that
If you wake up, time to break out lift your head up
Take a look around,
Discover...

*Chorus*

Sweet Child O Mine cover

2010-04-27T01:29:00.000+08:00

Who defines beauty?

2010-04-25T00:31:00.016+08:00

Living in the era where stick figures are considered hot,
It probably hasn't been easy for us girls with low metabolism rates.
In fact, it's been freaking tough.(for me anyway).
Yeah I know I know,
You don't have to be slim to be pretty,
If a guy judges you by your size then he is no guy at all yada yada yada.
I'd like to hear a guy say that.

This world is so superficial, and no one can deny it. (I DARE YOU)
Perhaps my love for music strengthened that point.
You can get fame just being hot but with no single drop of talent in you,
Or you have to be very very VERY talent if you are not.
What about normal people! Normal people have dreams too..
*Whines*

And one more thing, if you are pretty,
Guys will put up with you no matter how big of a bitch you are.
(Coz they love her.)
And if she's not, well then, sorry beb.

I suppose everyone has something worthy to be loved.
Because honestly, if you're a slob and a bum,
Can't raise a finger to even pick your nose or make money,
Then you have no right to say "Love me for me, not my money or my looks."
Because someone has to love you for something.
But before all that, you have to make sure you are attractive enough.
I mean, if no one is gonna notice you in the first place,
Then no one is gonna love you,
No one is gonna realize that if they knew you
You could be the most amazing person on earth.
Because they didn't notice you there..
Like a rock wedged in a river.. with water rushing past you..
Everyone is moving.. and all they do is flow..
And they create enough friction to rub you off your edges..
So that water flow through you easier and sooner or later
Once a rock you have now become a pebble..
And then sand.. and then you get stuck in someone's pants.
Metaphorically speaking.

Anyway..
Sure, eventually someone will notice you, that's what they always say.
Yalah. Someday.
I think women who didn't get married just couldn't get any.

So.. how much exactly does beauty contribute to love?
Sure, there are cases where unfortunate looking people get married.
(Like Stephen Hawking, but let's not leave out the obvious factor that he is rich.)
But really.. how often does that happen?
For normal people?
I think it is a simple calculation.
If you are not blessed in the looks department,
Make it up with something else,
Because as much as we like to think there will be people
Who will love us for who we are,
There isn't, unless there is something to be loved about.
You have to be extra good in making money for example.
Or you have a witty sense of humour.
Or you are really good at singing.
Or maybe just very good in the sack, ALTHOUGH
You can pay for that.
So if being a Tenner makes you wanted,
And say your looks are only 5,
Try making up that 5 point with a 5 point worth of awesome traits!
It's fool proof, I tell you!

Who defines beauty?
To be technical, it's the scale, or perhaps the number of heads you turn.
(can be subjective, what if you had spinach in your teeth?)
Or perhaps fashion designers?
They hold the power to say what's hot and what's not,
And people will be forced to react counter-attitudinal wise to not get their ass fired
(Applying psychology learnt from college to blog post , SCORE!)
But honestly speaking,
What they call "clothes" being paraded by stick figures
Who makes a living balancing on heels walking down the runway
(Where they don't even run on) and living on an oxygen diet?
I'd like to see them wear haute couture on the streets.
I seriously cannot think of ONE occasion where those clothes are appropriate.
Unless, of course, If you are Lady GaGa.
And half the time (if not all) THEY ARE UGLY!
Seriously, just... no.
I will never ever get Haute Couture.
If I do, I will know I have gone insane.

Was it not that back then where art was truly appreciated,
Where silent movies alone can make you laugh,
Where comedy does not have to refer to vulgar or fart jokes,
Where true beauty exist?
Have you ever seen any movie worth remembering made in our era?
I mean, the best movie I have ever seen in my life was...
Sigh.

And was it not that beauty was forever immortalize in statues and paintings?
Those woman HAVE curves.
THEY HAD GOD-DAMN CURVES!

So WHY HAS IT BECOME THAT NOW,
STICK FIGURES RULE THE WORLD??
So unfair loh.

It shows that beauty is subjective over time,
And commercialized beauty is formed by men,
And we all know men are fantasizers.
It will always change, like fashion trends or your underwear.
(Hopefully..)

.........

My point is,
Commercialized beauty only apply to commercials.
To me.. they do not define what beauty is because..

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

At least, that's what I'm trying to convince myself.

Date Night?

2010-04-19T22:16:00.002+08:00

Wooooo.
D.I.E finals were surprising.
I hope I did well.
Even if I scored like 20 marks I aso happy! (Over 40)
But since I'm the earliest one who came out..
Buat bodo je la.
...

You know that feeling you get when you think you did well..
And then it worries you?
Screw that.

After the test I bought 3 Harry Potter books to realize I already have one of them.
But all three only cost me like RM60, so I guess it's alright.
I always wanted enough books to make my room look like a library anyway.
Then people'd think I'm smart! xD

Today got a spontaneous call from sec buddies Bob and Bobo.
Apa pun tak kasi tau, oni say to come down from MyPlace apt.
So.. basically we went to Mid V, I watched them play a few hoops.
I wanted to play photohunt, tapi takde RM1 plak. =.=
Malu nak tukar 10 bucks for 1 token.. so biarlah.

We sneaked some sushi in (buy one bento free one!)
Finished one bento before half the trailer time,
To find that the movie audio is not on.
Eventhough the trailer ones were.
=.= I find this very tak masuk akal.

Liang Wei (Bob) was speaking in time with the movie, narrating it,
While Heng Yip and I joined in.
Boy, did I feel stupid.

Went to to find some help,
Got the audio back on, but the movie was not restarted.
Damn.
Well at least it was only RM7!

The sushi weren't very fresh.
Patut lah buy 1 free one...

Nak ucapkan Siow Li-Anne Happy Birthday!!
I don't know why I add in so many malay words =.=
Been reading this dude's blog in malay,
Got influenced.

But Thina and Jas laughs at my heavy chinese accent when I speak malay though!!

Apa mau kasi ketawa, sangat kelakar meh??

Wow.

2010-04-15T20:40:00.004+08:00

I wrote this song based on

Cadd9, C
Asus2, Am,
F
G7, G.

This is by far the most dramatic and emo song I have ever ever written.

I still haven't found a title for it yet.
*Named it Seeds.

Start as a seed,
Grow by water,
Sunlight and feed,
Making you gather,
Blossoming, blossoming in the spring,

Sway with the wind,
As you soar up
Fall down and begins
The circle of the growing life,
oh, Simplicity so fine.

And then the rain falls, blowing all around,
Skies get so dark, the sun has failed to shine again.

Rain.. Please go away..
Come back another day you've come now go away,
Shine.. Oh sun, please shine..
The rain has gone, now clear blue skies divine.

High up in skies,
Sprouting like river,
Look into my eyes,
I'm a life giver,
Swaying slow, swaying with the flow,

Look down and see, violent humans,
Throwing their mercy against my children,
They're crying low, crying blow by blow.

And then the sky falls, my leaves are on the ground,
I hear a deafening sound; mixtures of cries of those who dies,
My dears have died and I

Shake.. All of the earth..
Let my rage be clear, have a taste what we endured,

Waves.. Mighty waves to all the land,
Caused by shaking grounds consuming lives around,

Pain.. Pain and suffering like my kind has felt,
There is no lives spared on the ground,

Cries.. cries of your people..
Cries of pestilence, war, famine, death, be warned.

Will upload the video after my finals..
If I didn't upload.. that means I probably have died from depression.
So.. tough luck beb.

Donny the talking alarm clock!

2010-04-13T01:23:00.004+08:00

I know what I want!!
This is definitely something I WANTT!!!

Shall google the price.

***

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
It is discontinued.
Sigh.
Was going to find something similiar,
Then I realized.

No one can replace you, Nobby!
No one will understand my one day love for you like I do!

='(

It is still something I definitely want.

Cover?

2010-04-12T02:30:00.000+08:00

Flair.

2010-04-11T01:27:00.002+08:00

Ms.Leela may say I have flair,
But whether it's a positive one is subjective.
There are some blogs that you will want to read, but sooner or later
Find out that it is exactly the same old same old.
There are some that are run by camwhores, who are lucky because
Many pervs walk blogs more than they do reality wise.
And there are some that can write about the most ordinary things,
But make them a absolutely fun read.
Like Hadi's blog.

I absolutely don't understand them though.
Can't put my finger on them.
I can't even begin to judge them even if I wanted to.
Especially that Bobby guy.
Is it just me or are musicians just wacky?
Last sentence head from Hadi was "Amitabh Bachan"
Or however you spell it.
Wow now I feel like a stalker.
Grrreat.

I need to write new songs.

Bounce, niggah,

2010-04-09T02:49:00.002+08:00

Heard some nobody using this word.
Niggah please.
LOL.

Okay, so I know I have truly been neglecting this blog.
I don't even check nuffnang anymore.
It i simply pointless.
I mean after 2 years, and all I've gained is like, RM19?
That is like how many 10th of one single cent per day?
Pathetic.

Had the urge to play Maplestory again.
I miss making random friends.
In a way, Maplestory is a very good place to find real friends.
They help you because they want to,
(Unless you're Jessbunny who's famous.)
Maplestory does produce altruists once in a while.
And after those few years of playing Maple,
I've gained real friends like Zhukor and windy and cookie and more.
(Although some are rather unapproachable..)

Finals coming in one week.
Time does fly by so fast, doesn't it?
In a blink of an eye, I've been in the salvation army for 3 years this July.
I've known Jas and friends for 8 months now.
Even after 2 years, Heng Yip and friends are still around.
I already hate driving.
Kenzhi can already stay, sit, and jump on command.
Taurus is probably rotted to bones already.
Han Yin is still on my mind though. Miss you weh.
And that fucker Jack Black. Don't use my com hor!
Lying bastard.

But I can never fail to stop and think about how blessed I am.
Truly, even amongst my worst days, I still have a blessed life.
Aunt Juliana has really touched my heart.
I simply cannot comprehend WHY is she so nice to me.
WHY??
I didn't do anything.
Besides using up their money.
And occupying their space.
And singing out loud in the shower.
Very loud that type.
I am just so speechless la.
THANK YOU AUNTY, AND THANK YOU LORD!!

Plus Jas, Kash, Thina and friends.
Wow. Really.
I know I'm annoying,
I know (I really know) that I am ridiculously lame,
I am a fucking embarrassment sometimes,
And I never get my own pen and paper! xD
And I always make Thina wait for me for more than 1/2 hour >.<
And sometimes lose my patience with Kash.
But they loved me (I hope you guys do O.O)
And expect nothing in return.
NOTHING!
Altruistic people fills my life.

Whatever I've done in my past life,
THANK YOU YOU!

Fine.

2010-03-29T23:00:00.002+08:00

At least I didn't write your name.

Questions 101

2010-03-22T02:10:00.003+08:00

You got used to everything I endured thinking that I didn't mind,
When in reality I was waiting for you to finish whatever you are doing.
Assignment, on the phone, on the net, whatever.
At first you say sorry, like you were gonna make it up to me.
But things just went on and on and on and on without change.
I assume you got used to it, not knowing the whole time I was waiting for you.
To come find me.
Now I don't even bother to look who comes through the door coz it was never you.
When it is it was never because you were looking for me.
And sitting here alone made me think again about
Our conversation some months back.
About how it's so pointless.
You cried, and I felt bad, but that was the end of it.
Nothing changed.
Everything stayed the same.
You always said that someone was there for you,
And it was never me.
Did I talk to much that you did not have time to talk to me?
Was I boring you?
Do you not enjoy spending time with me?
Does it still mean anything to you?
How I have become the rock, and you the rapids that rush past me?
Is this how you felt like when you are fighting with someone you love,
And there wasn't someone around to complain to, to listen, to care?
Or is there something wrong between us?
Has my jokes gone too far?
Have I offended you?
Have I acted too lame for your liking?
Am I beneath you?
Am I selfish?
Am I not worth your time?
Have I been disrespectful?
Is it the presents I don't give you?
What is it?
What is it?
I don't get it.
At times like these I feel the most lonely.

Pathetic how I confide in Kenzhi.
Who else do I trust but you?
Who can I go to but you?
But you don't even seem to like me around anymore.
What is it?

I can't stop asking.
When do I talk to you?
The only time we spend together is in the car and dinner time.

21 Creative USB FlashDrives!

2010-03-21T00:57:00.003+08:00

Here are some USB Flashdrives which may... or may not
Be useful and practical.
A+ for effort though =D

And My Top 8!

Lastly, my favourite one!

Come on, I'm a girl! Bite me. xD

Real Mermaid?

2010-03-09T00:59:00.002+08:00

I need someone to convince me this isn't real
Because I truly believe that this video footage is ABSOLUTELY REAL.

Not this la, this is fake DUH. The "real" footage is the one below.
Firstly, watch this video of Hannah the mermaid.
She impersonates a mermaid as a profession.
From this video you can see that

The tail is obviously fake.
The knee jerking is too damned obvious.
Swims very slow.
You can see her butt shape.
You can see how her ankles can fit at the tail fin.
There are no fishes surrounding her, because she is foreign to fishes.
The way her tail fin moves is so kayu.
Her body is very much like a human, because she is one.

***

Now watch this footage of a "mermaid" caught in Sydney.

First of all you would say:
If the footage was real,
How come the person who recorded it was not shocked?
Well, if it was FAKE, they would have done the "GASP" thing right?
Would they make such an elementary mistake?
However,
That's not the point.

Sounds Recorded
If you notice, even after the footage ends and they were showing
"Marginal Media", the bubbly water sound is still playing.
Why?
It's not because that part of the video is also in water, no.
It's because the bubbly sound is actually an entirely different soundtrack.
It was just added into the video for added effect,
Because let's face it, if mariners were recording fishes,
Why would they need a mic?
Fishes does NOT make sounds.
Having a voice recorder would have been completely pointless!

Movement
The swimming movement is just too smooth.
It swims much faster than Hannah without using hands.
There are no obvious knee jerk movement.
Take a look at 0:33.
If you look closely, the way the tail folds is very flexible, like a N letter.
Gymnasts cannot do that!
From this footage you can see that the tail is very much boneless!
The knees are not bent inwards but outwards!
How can ANYONE fake THAT??!!

Human Body
1.Did you see any butts?
Okay I admit, from this angle,
It's kinda hard to spot the butt.

2.The mermaid does not need to use it's hands to swim and is still faster
Than Hannah the mermaid.

3. It does not have human proportions.
The waist is very very narrow, unlike Hannah the mermaid's.
Check the video out again.

Tail
1.Looks very boneless.
Well at least not similar to human bones structure lah!

2.Do you think it could have fit a pair of legs?
If yes, tell me who got such fucking skinny legs.

3.The tail fin is simply too narrow to be able to hide 2 ankles!

4.The circumference of the tail cannot possibly hold a pair of human thighs!

5.Does not have sequins, although details on tail is not visible.

Fishes
Does NOT Swim away.
The appearance of the mermaid did not scares the fishes away.
It is not foreign to them.
Most fishes stay away from human,
Like Hannah the Mermaid.

Cost
Would you spend money on renting a submarine
To shoot a video that does not have any monetary value?
Just for kicks?
I assume it's submarine due to the circular edges on the screen.
Besides, if you were holding a camera swimming to take the footage,
Would so many fishes still be around?

***

So you can tell I'm very much convinced that it's real.
But I'd like to hear your point of views.
Youtubers are trashing the video,
But so far I think I know how to combat.

So, what do you think?

They call it the Door to Hell.

2010-03-08T05:28:00.002+08:00

This place in Uzbekistan is called by locals “The Door to Hell”.
It is situated near the small town of Darvaz
The story of this place lasts already for 35 years.
Once the geologists were drilling for gas.
Then suddenly during the drilling they have found an underground cavern,
It was so big that all the drilling site with all
The equipment and camps got deep deep under the ground.
None dared to go down there because the cavern was filled with gas.
So they ignited it so that no poisonous gas could come
Out of the hole, and since then, it’s burning, already for 35years without any pause.
Nobody knows how many tons of excellent gas has been burned for all
Those years but it just seems to be infinite there.

Taken from Here.

Imagine that!
Burning away for 35 years without pause.. and going!
There really are so many unsolved mysteries here on Earth.
However, I believe that what experts may not be able to explain now
Will be available in the future.
Plagues from olden time who took lives of the entire town was acknowledged
As a curse that has been upon them and was feared by many.
I believe that things like spirits and dreams and everything unexplained
Is only a matter of time before the brainiacs figure them out.
But still this Door to Hell things is freakin amazing weh.
Check out this video.
(The man in the video so dang hilarious!)

Living in a fairytale.

2010-03-07T00:49:00.004+08:00

I came across these pictures and
They were so beautiful I HAD to share them with you.
It makes me wonder how beautiful it is to be inside
These secluded houses, far from work,
Pressure, fashion, bitches..
Got internet?

Still. These are beautiful.

Look a bit like it's painted though.

Not far from town, but still secluded. Living right in front of a lake.
And the colours from the trees around are so mesmerizing..

The first thing that came into my head was how did they get up there?
Mostly by aircraft I assume. Definitely no way to reach civilization.

Looks virtual also.

This is just so beautiful.

But what if your husband died and you had no child?
You would totally end up crazy.
Unless you got male and female cats.
Then you can breed. xD

This looks painted also.

I think these are mostly hunting cabins.

Awesome. But why so small?

Awesome but looks haunted..

I think most houses in Kiwiland are like these.

Anyway, check out this site.
It's awesome,
They have the most interesting sites,
And I always get stuck reading posts from that site.
The only thing I don't lie about it is it keeps opening in a new tab, grrr!

Sorry guys about the lack of update,
Blame it on the lack of life I don't possess.

EXAMS, JUST KILL ME.

CREEPYYYYYY!!

2010-02-26T22:59:00.002+08:00

Went to IOI Mall with my mom today.
Explored the new wing.
It wasn't such a big deal.
The centre area has the most pathetic stage.
My college toilet is bigger.
Don't get me started on the decor.

Bought nothing.
Some stickers from Daiso for my laptop.
Was thinking of feminizing my laptop.
Daiso is awesome!!
The entire store is filled with everything that is only RM5 each.
And I found the puzzle box Kelsey showed me.
The one with the illustration of the cat and
Broken english asking us about our opinions of occuring dreams.

Went to Jusco.
Mum had to go to toilet.
I was listening to "Bigger Than My Body" by John Myer.
Went to toilet to find my mom.
Without mom I don't know what I can buy.

Couldn't find mom.
Went back to Jusco to look like I have something better to do
Instead of loitering near toilets.
An African approached me.
Mentions he called me from the toilet, but I failed to hear him,
With John Myer blasting in my ear about him being bigger than his body.
He asked if I was Malaysian.
Mentions he is African. What a shocker.
He asked me if I was a christian.
I replied yes.
He said he noticed the cross I was wearing.
Was confused about what to say.
Felt very annoyed because he came with motives.
*Rolls Eyes*
So tempted to say "Not Interested." and "Stranger Danger!"
I welcomed him to Malaysia, and promptly tell him I'm looking for my mom.
He said I could use my phone.
"You're right." Starts calling.
Managed to catch my mom walking to my direction.
Heard the angel choir from above.
Walks toward my mom.
The man follows.
Tells mom about him scaring me.
Mom claims I'm her daughter, which I am, got papers to prove it.
Man backs off and walks away.
I was creeped out.
Mom was more racist than she was ever.

Getting ready to pay at the counter.
Got ice-cream (promotion), Twister Orange (promotion also),
Apple juice (promotion again), and honey dew Nata de Coco
(aha got you, this one sadly, no promotion.)
Mom says not to turn back.
Almost did. Curiosity did kill the cat. 10 times over.
Mom says man is lingering behind me.
Puts both earplugs in my ears just in case he gets conversational.
Walks out of Jusco.
Man follows behind. Starts conversing in a hardly coherent accent.
Mom promptly ordered me to turn around.
I did, and walked away, trying to look for the nearest security guard.
Man did not follow. I repeat, did NOT follow.
Breathes a sigh of relief.
Mom told me to imagine if he followed us to the carpark.
Shivered.

***

My mom is seriously cute. Thus, me.
But this is about her being cute, I talk about how cute I am every other time.
In the car, with me and sister, mom started mentioning to my sister about her dog.
While still halfway in her sentence, she stopped abruptly and
Starts scratching her allergy.
My sis told her to continue her sentence,
But my mom said
"Wah, how can I remember I forgot."

***

Mom: All the burger in the fridge are expired already?
Me: Yeah. All of em.
Mom: So wasteful. Do you think anyone would want them?
Me: Would you accept if someone offered you free expired meat?
Mom: Haha, yahor.

***

Walking towards the Apartment.
Sister, mommy and I was walking to our door.
My mom speeds up and says "I walk faster than you."
Then went on to walking faster and faster.
Laughed my arse off.
Sister starts laughing coz I laughed.

***

Sorry for the lack of updates.
Assignments killing me.
Exams killing me.
Jasnitha killing me.

***

Got a new dog, named Kenzhi by my sister.
So adorable.
Doesn't learn his name.
Maybe he wasn't chinese.

Mom calls it Kanji.

Sister singing him a lullaby.

***

Men are so hard to trust.

CUTE GAY KID DANCING TO WONDER GIRLS!

2010-02-14T09:00:00.002+08:00

.
So Epic.

I'm BACKKK!!

2010-02-12T23:51:00.003+08:00

Okay so I haven't been bloggin much lately.
I have actually been living with Kash and a Monster.
The monster who pinches me HARDER THAN the other monster, Kels.
Who sat on me the other day and poked me like I enjoyed it.
Freakin A, Jas.
LOL.

Anyway, the reason why I haven't been online lately is..
Yeah, I've been living with them due to transportation problems.
I can't afford to pay my sister for the petrol and tol charges,
I did pay her, but it wasn't enough, and besides I always use it when she wants to,
And I never take the car to wash, yada yada yada.
Bottom line, If I can't do all that, then might as well I don't use lah.
So, I've been staying with Kash and the monster that is Jas
For about 3 weeks now.
(I think they might start charging me soon! xD)
Well, I can't always pay.. in gratitude, stress ball,some entertainment..
Like being pinched, the center of jokes, singing with the guitar..
Yeah.. I think they pretty much like me.
If they like me anymore they should really be paying me to stay there!
HAHAHA!
So, I can't go online.

*Disclaimer*
"They" referring below does not represent more than 1 person.
It's simply used so that I do not have to reveal the gender of that massive faggot.

Anyway,
Someone from my class called me ugly and fat and manly.
(You knew this was coming, Thina, Kash, Jas, Eric.)
I really beg to differ.
I just want that person to know that that person is worthless.
And why they should wonder WHY they have no friends makes me laugh.
Or why they doesn't have true friends.
I tried being nice to them, but they brushed me off..
I deserve so much more.
Or maybe we're just two very different kind of people.
Me being respectable, them being rude.
I for one never judge them based on their looks.
Which brings this into mind:
WHAT EXACTLY DID I JUDGE THEM ON?

You know how you get to know Alvin and he turns out to be Leo?
Yeah, that's how I feel.
As if this person then and this person now is 2 entirely different person.
LIARS!
To hell with you!
I will never ever care about you again!
(Starting from now.)

Okay, I've finished ranting,
So I'll go work on Mr.Lim's blogskin.

And probably work on a v-log,
Because my first v-log is so retarded.

.

Men think with penises.

2010-02-06T23:49:00.008+08:00

Gender equality is not a myth.
Sexist is not a myth either.
It happens.
Not entirely but it is applicable somewhere.
It just so happens that guys are so simple they fail to see it
From a different perspective. Example: Read this post.
Male and female are definitely made differently.
The body parts, those eyes (Wu Zhun excluded coz he is gay), the narrow waist.
They are feminine duh, and are weaker than men.
That is what it is.
We're not denying it.

Why we stress on gender equality?
Because we can and want do what men can do, that's what.
Why we want to do what men do?
So that our husbands can kiss their ass when they want to blackmail us
Into their affairs by threatening us by not giving us a place to live.

On the other hand,
Men won't wanna do what women can or should stereotypically do
(see: fashion designers, stylist, Miss J)
Due to just one reason, ego.
So, so typical.

*****

Here's what guys retaliate with:
If women are so gungho about being equal,
Then why don't they lift up heavy objects?
They say women uses excuses such as: men are stronger.
Well, hello there. Isn't it so?
We are obviously different from the male species physically.
(This is a good example of guys trying to justify themselves, then to fail, epicly.)

So, you want to bear children, have menstruation and go through menopause?

What we meant by equality is by the
Strength, capability and intelligence of the mind.
DUH.
Basketball, Presidency, Driving.
What comes to mind?
Bingo if you say male.
If you said female, stop lying guys.

Girls can play as good as guys, regardless of strength,
Because what matters are skills and stamina.
Girls are equally smart, productive and forward thinking.
Mentally we are scientifically proven to be equally capable.
So men are less emotional. Big deal.
When it comes to men, only one feeling is recognized: Pleasure.

*****

Men rule with their penis, Women rules with mind.
Girls definitely win when it comes to stamina when talking.
So when we argue and we keep going on,
Guys tend to say they are sorry or just the one word: Okay.
One(usually women) wonders if they really are sorry?
Or do they want us to just SHUT UP, because believe me,
We CAN go on forever.
(And that's not necessarily a bad thing.)

Their motive?
One thing: Sex.

Our motive?
(If we EVER do shut up.)
Plenty of things: Bags, clothes, Jimmy Choos..

Men really are retards.
(Quote: Eric Lee)
Most men (would like to) think that they have the upper hand
When it comes to women, but they have failed to see why they think so.
We don't really run out of hormones,
But one does run out of money.
Guys think they have the upper hand,
And we females let them.
Go figure.

******

Sexual Asaults
Why do female get more rights when it comes to sexual assaults?
This is so simple I want to laugh.
Men are although equally active in their sex drive,
At least we women (well, most of us) don't let lust succumb us.
When we are drowned in lust, our minds still function,
Unlike the male species.
Amazing isn't it?

A good example:
You heard of cases of goat-fucking males?
Okay, now tell me, have you heard of female-fucking goats?
Yeah, that. Exactly.

Toilet cleaners.
Why women?
Oh boy.

Because:
We're better at cleaning. (WIN!)
We won't peek.
We won't rape you.
We won't stop to hit on guys who are peeing.
Older men would lose their ego doing it.
Younger men have an ulterior motive if they CHOOSE to be a toilet cleaner.
(See above.)
All security guard jobs are taken.
Men don't like the wipe another men's shit.
We're better at CLEANING!!

Topless males.
Ahh boy do we like them.
However, we won't try to grab them, rape them, take pictures of them.
Topless females?
You ~~won't~~ try to grab them, rape them, take pictures of them.
Case closed.

Ladies Night
As for Ladies Night, I would like to stress out a point.
Are ladies night a privilege for women only?
If there was a Men's night would it have seemed more appealing?
Or is this really a sales gimmick to get guys to pay for free shows?
Because we know who will pay to watch 2 girls grinding on top of each other,
And who wouldn't pay to watch 2 guys grinding on top of each other.

*****

We'll talk about gender equality when men can think with their brains and not their...
Because when women can walk around topless without being hit on,
THEN there is gender equality.
Because females already DO and have DONE what men can do,
And more.
(Like juggling between work and family,
Which men think family is a woman's job.)

Guys, come up with a better argument.
Come back when you can understand a simple instruction like
Leaving the toilet seat down, thanks!