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I forgot what was so wonderful about me.
I used to hate nobody.
I didn't have a reason to block anybody.
I don't even have the balls to be angry when I have the right to.

Now I'd eff up anyone who pisses me off.
And that is pretty often.
I don't want to blame this on anyone,
But there has to be something that influenced me to be this way.

I can make friends in a bat of an eye,
But now I forgot how to make friends,
Just because I didn't want to make the wrong friends.

I don't let anyone take advantage of me,
I don't want to do nice things for anybody,
I don't get involved in anything that's none of my business.

But I have forgotten to be the bigger person,
I have forgotten to be kind,
Forgotten to be compassionate.

It is a series of events that has happened that led me up to this.
It has to be some kind of defense mechanism that I'm pushing everyone out,
To the extent that when I realized who I have become,
I repulse myself.

I don't like who I am right now,
As I am sure many others don't as well.
I have taken revenge of a few to everyone else in my life.

I lost my outlets;
Singing, blogging, song writing.

What stopped?
Why have I simply stopped bothering?
And just live life waiting for the next day?

This is pointless.

I wanna be who I used to be.
I wanna be a better person.

But I'm not anymore.
To try is to feel like a phony.

Is this what they call an internal struggle?

I wouldn't want to be my friend.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

"You why talk to me like that? You wanna fight now is it?"
"Yalah, stupid fella!"

Here is what happened:
So I woke up this morning and did the same routine:
Woke up in a jolt, cursed because I'm late,
Skipped shower and brushing my teeth, splashed my face with cold water
Put on clothes that don't smell or look dirty, play with my dog
(You have to, ethical issue)
Then rushed out.
As you know, Subang Jaya is well-known for one thing
(And it's not Lim's Fried Chicken, no not really)
It's the amazing traffic.
So I reached subang in what should have been 10 but became 23mins,
And As I had Mr. Andrew for my first class, I know if I'm too late,
My ass: grilled.
And so I skipped the usual habit of parking in SS14
(My dad's employee can look after my car so no need pay parking HAHA)
And parked in birdshit parking instead.

Lo and behold at 10.15 in the morning every single space LITERALLY
In subang is filled with cars, and a fucker who double parked
(silver wira, retard) so I had no choice but to double park and leave my car keys there.
So if you knew me well enough, I just got a car like probably 3-4 months ago?
It's windscreen cracked within 3 weeks and just recently the power window broke down.
So yeah. I didn't really exactly particularly meticulously remember my car plates,
But I know the numbers in it. And being late for class,
I just gave it to them what I at that time was not SUPER sure, but fairly sure
Was the right one, and rushed off to class without double checking.
My fault I know, but I just woke up alright!
So, as you may very well guess, I was wrong.

So when my class ended I walked with Jas to the parking and
As I went to get my car keys, I noticed that my car was clamped.
Frustrated, I went over the booth and asked why is that so.
"You never leave your keys."
"There it is."
"Same number?"
"Oh, sorry I put the wrong number."
"Okay wait I call the manager."

And so I waited for about 30 minutes in my car in frustration
Because I just got a new laptop and I can't wait to go sleep
Then wake up and play with it (MAPLE, SIMS GENERATIONS)
While breaking my Puzzle Bobble score in my ancient W810i phone,
Someone rapped my car window, signalling me to open my door.
He was rather cute albeit short, wearing a red football jersey paired with a
naturally tousled hair.
"Hi, this morning I wanted to go out but your car was blocking me.
It was quite urgent, and I had to take a taxi there."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I gave them the wrong number plate because I used to drive another car."
(i-lied.jpg)
"Oh, well next time please do not give wrong number kay."
"Kay, I'm really really sorry. I hope it was nothing life threatening."
"Ah, it doesn't matter anymore."
"So sorry!"
"Kay."
And so he left. And there I thought:
"Wow so nice geh. it it was me i don't think I would have done the same thing."

And so waiting another 20 minutes in my car I was glad when I
Finally see two indian fellas walking towards me with the clamp key.
"You must pay RM50 la."
"What? Why? Just for this?
But I only have RM47 with me now, please la, just let me go."
"No, I want to talk to this fella, wait for him to come talk to you."
"Oh, he already did just now."
"Really? What he said?"
"He told me that I blocked his car this morning,
and told me to put correct number next time."
"And then?"
"Then I said sorry and he left."
"Waaaa, chinese talk to chinese so different ahhh.. bloody fool.
This morning I was scolded like shit by the owner of this car you know!
He was bloody rude, who does he think he is. I so old, he so young!
Bloody fool educated people talk like uneducated people."

Apparently some guy I was blocking (thus we leave the keys see?)
Wanted to leave at 10am in the morning to do some very important stuff,
And because I gave them the wrong number, naturally they couldn't find the key,
And apparently this guy I blocked came down and screwed the shit out of the
Parking lot boss. Like seriously.
I don't really know exactly what happened but this was how Bird Shit parking boss said it:
"The bloody bastard scolded me ask me for taxi money or give other car for him to drive!
I how old, he how old! The small little kid talk to me like want to fight like that, Blardy rude!"

And it surprised me how different this guy can be.
In front of me like so polite, but in front of this uncle wanna fight.
I am contemplating is it because of my ugly damsel in distress look that
Soften him up a bit or because it was morning and now it's afternoon and he calmed down.
(OR WAS IT MY BOOBS)
After that the uncle called him and talk to him, say why he so rude but so nice to me
Then apparently the guy hung up on the uncle.
Moral of the story:
It's great to be a girl.
Except when you're giving birth or if you think
women should be treated ala the bible.

I did lose RM30.00 though.
MY LAST TIME PARKING THERE.

p.s: Funny thing is they keep stressing that the guy wanted to leave at 10am
BUT MY RECEIPT SAID I CAME IN AT 10.15AM!!

p.p.s: I just remembered another thing the uncle said
"That's it? He said when the owner of this car (me) come back,
You call me, I'm gonna screw that fella (me). Bloody hell."

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Wow I should really just rename this blog to
Manda's Insecurity Page
Because this is the place I resort to
When I have thoughts in my mind
That are too long, dramatic and attention seeking
To be put on facebook.

Probably no one reads this anymore,
Which is just as well.
I once wondered why I don't just set this blog to private
Since it helps me release stress and all bottled up emotions
That I can't seem to tell anybody.
I assume there is something comforting
That somewhere someone might come across this blog
Reads my feelings,
And feel sorry for me.
AND IT FEELS GOOD :D

Haha.
Okay. So I'm in a relationship now,
It's been 7 months and my feelings have only grown stronger.
But yet again I am also a very strong willed person.
I have my own opinions in EVERYTHING SERIOUSLY and also
My own way of doing things. I have a lot of personal preferences,
I like to personalize everything, and I am particular.
I sound like a nightmare, believe me, I know.
Whilst I am not the most easiest person to be with,
I just can't somehow tone it down.
It's just embedded into me.
But it's not like I am some diva, preferring evian over spritzer.
Only menial things like forks over chopsticks.
Is that bad? :/

Anyway back to what I really wanted to say.
What do you do when you realize that you love your partner
More than they do you?
Or to be fair, judging by the surface,
That it appears that you love the other more?
As in they don't really show it, even if they do?

I just, I've been in this scenario before,
And let's just say although I was young that time, I got dumped in 2 weeks.
Although the guy was a really big assed jerk to begin with.
(He cheated on me on the 1st week, go figure.)
I just feel like it's not my advantage to love someone more.
So is it really selfish if I said I wanna tone it down?
It's easier said than done, but I don't wanna be on the losing end here.
I don't want to have a high risk.
I wanna rebuild the wall he broke when we first got together.
Dang, it sounds bad already.

UGH.
I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Never mind.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

It's been a month since I've lived here.
No invitations to go home.
As if no one missed me.
As if I made no difference.
As if I don't matter.

It doesn't matter if I am all by myself,
It doesn't matter what's been said to me,
It doesn't matter that everything that was lost was my own savings.
All that has been said is always
"You are calculative."
"You were provoking."
"You were hotheaded."
"You were selfish."
"You need to be more careful next time."
"You're dead when I get home."
"You better leave the house."
"You don't have anyone who likes you."

You, you, you.

Yes. Me.
For never have I ever felt more alone,
And just this once when I wanna be selfish,
I am still the one expected to be matured.
I don't like the pity people give me,
But I don't think it's so wrong to confide in one or two
When you get no support in your own home.
So, instead of looking for a silver lining in everything that has happened to me,
Can't I just be selfish for once, and pity myself?

Isn't this sad?
I am actually procrastinating.
LOL.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Perhaps my rage now may seem very immature,
But for a reason I felt like I have finally shed my child skin
And am now donning my adult skin.
I don't need to be blackmailed anymore,
Because at this second I don't really care,
Unless I have committed a crime,
I really don't wanna care about the consequences anymore.
People close to me knows that I am not one to let someone
Climb the top of my head and get away with it unless I allowed it to.
Well, I have let two people run over my head for the last time.
I have treated and tolerated and loved them as a bloodkin,
But apparently I am ungrateful/childish or perhaps petty and not a good sport.
Well I don't really stick well to humour meant to prod mean fun.

So now I may most probably broke two connections and made one stronger.
They can be each other's allies for all I care,
They are cut from the same cloth anyway, more the less,
And now finally I can match up.

I don't wanna play the bitch.
But I have already been seen one, so if you can't beat em join em.
And someone once said I can go to my blog and type all I want,
Who would see them?
Well, not you obviously,
I don't need random strangers to read this,
Because even if they did they don't understand dumbass.
I don't use names in my blog.
I only need people who understands to read,
Not people who only talks to me because they want something from me.

I don't buy any of the bullshit that's been served,
And boy can I keep a grudge,
Because what's the big deal,
Breaking something that's already been broken.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Little things

I don't need you to buy me a house,
As long as you want to live with me.

I don't need you to marry me,
As long as you want to be with me,

I don't need you to do everything with me,
As long as you want to do something with me,

I don't need you to call me every hour,
As long as you want to share things with me,

I don't need you to be strong,
As long as you want to protect me,

I don't need you to be perfect,
As long as you want to be for me.

I don't need you to be by my side all the time,
As long as you miss me when I'm not.

I don't need you to text me every single minute,
As long as you tell me when you're gone,

I don't mind if you fall asleep,
As long as I'm in there in your dreams.

I don't care if you buy me everything I've ever wanted,
Because it's the little things that count.

Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

What is this mempertahan utusan malaysia bs?
Because they memperjuangkan hak melayu?
Since when you need to memperjuangkan that??
They have more rights than us what, only other day they say
Non-muslim don't deserve civil rights.
And who is challenging that anyway,
All I read on the newspaper is about how must fight
For malays right but no news about who's challenging it?
These leaders are shaming their own people and religion
Creating drama to stir people's emotions
And it's these people that are completely oblivious of how
Fucking RACIST they look on the newspaper.
Please go back to the loo where you come from
And continue to flush the image of Malaysia bit by bit down the john.

There will be NO harmony as long as you keep spewing words
That gives indirect message such as
"You are at our mercy, we give you permission to practice your own religion,
To multiply and give you HUMAN rights, and like the Jews,
We give them something, but you must return that generosity.
We came here first, first come first serve, so now you must listen to us,
And we're going to make sure this is our land and it stays that way and I rather
Have Malaysia die in our hands than to see it prosper in yours.
But if you vote for us, ha then problem solved laaaaa.
You happy we happy, we conquer and you get to live by our gracious mercy."

Oh hello, is that chinese, indian and other people figthing for Malaysia
how many years ago?
Why do they have to be such big hypocrites talking about unity
then doing something completely OPPOSITE?
Obv this 1M thing is not for us, but for other country to ASSUME we are.
The one thing we can be proud of and stupid leaders have to sabo that also.

It's because of you people that make US feel that our lives are unfair
and look at Malays in a different way because YOU speak for them!

Politics will be the death for us all.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Like duh, this is my blog.
HAHA.
Damn thanks to Jeremy whenever someone says/sings this line,
I'd think of him first.

Well, It's been some time since I've used this blog to relieve some stress.
I've started interning, of course.
All set to prove my worth and capabilities,
But somehow..
Things just go wrong.

Screwed up last Friday,
Screwed up today.
When asked about it, and after I explained it,
I only felt like I was giving excuses.
Felt like, but truly I am not.
I know that I should just shut up and take what's being served,
And probably they didn't really meant to sound so "bid deal-ish",
But to me it reflects on my personality,
And well, this is a first impression.
Usually, if you notice, first impression doesn't budge.
So, fml fml fml and what's that? Oh, fml.

So now, I'm gonna suck it up,
And try to do my best.
Hopefully they pardon my mistakes since it's just the second week,
And I'll stop SCREWING UP.

I better.
I really don't want them to see me in that light.
I really can do better.
I really can be very socially adept.
I WILL break their corporate faces and make them laugh at ME
If I must. The ice has not broken, if not even more frozen.
GOD.

My only wish is that they would tell/brief me on things.
I didn't get a tour and wasn't introduced to the team.
I kinda had to find out everything by myself.
And I felt very small and invisible,
People go in and out,
Some people obviously giving me senyum kambing,
While others are avoiding my eye.
Tak tau really so busy or am I really that annoying with my smiles.
And babe said my smile is powerful. Pfffft.

OKAY SUCK IT UP
I'm here to learn not to be happy and/or have fun.
Whatever.
HAHA drama la me.
It's not that bad really.
I'm probably beating myself up bcoz of PMS.

Just... GOSH.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

I tell ya, if you had multiple dreams of you dying,
You'd be creeped out.
And most of the people that appears in my dreams
Are characters from college.
Although there was one dream that I don't really remember.

So apparently when you dream about your own deaths on more than
One occasion, it symbolizes that you're ending a phase in your life.
And based on the characters that starred in my dreams,
That would be my college life.
At least for the next 3 months anyway,
Because I'll be away from college to intern at some advertising firms.
Well, hopefully I get into at least one of em'.

Getting into advertising was something new for me.
I mean alright, I may have boasted a lil when I said I am good at writing,
There are tons more that are better than me in my course alone,
But writing comes naturally to me.
It was something I didn't have to sweat about.
Usually written assignments I can totally finish 3 hours before due dates
And I still get above average if not better scores.
So it was something easy.
Never would I have thought about getting into advertising.
I mean, come on, I hated principals of advertising,
But I sure did love the assignments making our own posters as such.

It was Eric who slapped me awake.
"Don't take the easy way out" he said.
That sentence still rings in my ear today.
I for one was never the coward. Or at least, that's what I would like to think.
And taking the easy way out, that is like..
Pfft, you loser, you sell out.
And although my passion may be designing,
I have to work at it. Work hard at it.
I get dry spells occasionally,
When I am at lost, staring into the blank canvas that is Photoshop.
I mean sure, I have a brilliant idea onces in a while,
But then it never results in what I imagined it to be.
For one, my photoshop skills are limited,
And two, there are only so many google images you can find.
That's what I hate about saying I "love" designing.
Because what type of designer am I if I'm only good at taking a bunch of
Other people's illustration and making them into my "own"?
That's like a big fat plagiarism right there.
I mean, maybbbbbbe I get credit for the idea,
But still.
I wanna know how to make my OWN graphics, with illustrator or what not.
Honestly I am doubting my "skills", if I even have them,
Because I can never truly claim them as my own.
Look at this blogskin right now.
I think it's nice, but none of them are "my work".
It was a picture of a boot which I then manipulated,
Then downloaded some fancy fonts from a website,
Then claimed that I "designed" this blogskin.
Gosh I feel like such a phony.

So yeah, I think I don't know ANYTHING about advertising,
But I have the passion to learn about it,
And I hope this passion is good enough for the advertising firms I have applied,
And hope that they consider me despite my so called "designing" skills.
At least I might have a shot at copy writing right?

Ahhhhh to be honest I am damn scared of this internship.
But I know I'll make it through, coz I have to.
Hope it all goes well.

Make or break time yo.

And to shitholes that recite my blog address to my face,
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?
That you read my blog, big deal.
I hate passive aggressive people, who thinks that have guts
Trying to reveal to you that they know about what you wrote in your blog,
But not really touching on the subject.
I WROTE IT.
In my blog.
I'm not gonna deny it.
Fact is I can back things up.
Got something to say?
Say it now or STFUTQ.

Haha OKAY I KNOW I SOUND IRONIC
Talking about passive aggressive people and here I am being
EXACTLY what I was ranting about.
THE DIFFERENCE IS
He is trying to let me know that he knows about my blog,
While I am just trying to avoid conflict coz I don't mention it at all in his face.
Coz I don't give a fuckin damn over that and don't want to anymore,
But here he is still reciting my blog addy to me whenever he sees me.
LIKE WTF.

People need to grow up.
My world doesn't revolve around him or his friends anymore,
And by the end if this year our world as we know it competely
Disappears.

Well, you always wanted to forget me right,
Now it's mutual.
Hope you're happier now.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Friendships.
There are many kinds,
And who are you to say that one's better than the other?
Some may have equal amounts of love for one another
But have different frequencies of hanging out together,
Different types of approaches,
Different types of honesty,
Different types.

I wouldn't say I don't have friends,
I wouldn't say I don't have close friends,
But I can't say that I have tight friends.

I see people in colleges hanging with people
They do every single day.
And they are always laughing, seems like they have so much fun.
Everyday is something new, even though everything is still the same.
Perhaps it might be repetition, but to these they are oblivious.
It's not where you go, it's what you do, what you say,
What you share.
Friends who talk on the phone like the lesbians that they are,
Friends who goes out yumcha every night,
Friends who to other people are a major tick off,
Because of the amount of noise you make,
Which is equivalent to how much fun they are having.
Friends who plans to go out venturing for food every weekend,
Friends who share the same passion,
Jamming together,
Going through and experiencing the same life together.
So involved with each other.

I want that.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Ohhh yeah.So, I've been ranting on facebook
but then I don't want people telling me
That I'm spamming their facebook wall with my rants so yeah,
Here I am on my dusty old blog.

Well, my aunt forwarded me this power point presentation slide
Entitled "MONDEX MARK OF THE BEAST" or something like that.
It's basically about how Mondex (under mastercard) with help from Motorola
has come up with a new way to keep our money,
in form of a chip.
Andddd this chip is our future, and soon everybody rich and poor
Will have to be implanted with this chip,And it cannot be taken out because when it's exposed to air
It will burst, and may leak lithium into our blood stream
And dunno got what GPS that can track and then the authorities will be informed.
What are the authorities gonna do?
Are they police?
They gonna catch us?
They gonna force us to have a chip implanted into our hands/foreheads?

I think with outspoken people nowadays,
Even if this is real, people would not ALLOW this to happen,
Because this is a freakin invasion of privacy,
and BTW is hazardous to our body if broken,I mean WHAT IF BASKETBALLERS FALL EH?
Our hands are not that protected and if we injure ourselves,
THEN LITHIUM LEAK INTO OUR BLOODSTREAM AND WE DIE?
I think NOT. And what about amputated people?
If that is the mark of the beast then all amputated people
With no right hand gets to go to heaven izit?

Where did they get their facts?
They never go to college?Like hello. REFERENCE?
I took Introduction to Research in my third semester,
So I won't simply simply believe what is circulated online.
Ms. Cheryl will be proud of me.

It's probably a TROLL for all we know.

I just think it's really really stupid.
They call us if we don't believe go google veriships or biochips and potato chips
And see for ourselves.
And the result?
Yeah, sure.

Come on. I searched the Mondex website up and down,
And all it mentioned were smartcards.
Googled verichips too.
All websites about MARK OF THE BEST MARK OF THE BEAST
No concrete evidence.

And chips for everyone rich or poor?
Chips as far as i know that NEEDS to be implanted won't come cheap
HEY LOOK A PUN HAHA
Anyway, yeah it doesn't come cheap so POOR PEOPLE TOO?
I don't think they can afford luh.
And what about people living in amazon and stuff.
They free from the mark too?

This Mondex if it's even real, I mean,
I have never heard of it even in Malaysia nor have i seen it
And to be honest their website seems seedy
And mastercard's international website says NOTHING about it's affiliation with
Mondex SO HOW.
Just take your word for it just coz
It's in a form of a "highly professional" powerpoint slide?

People will believe what they want to believe,
Mondex's logo is not 666 and hello,
They say data is more SAFE than hard cash?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
WHAT A JOKE.
Hello, have you ever heard of people hacking into NASA?
Or the military base or what not.
IT IS NOT SAFE.
HARD CASH, THAT IS SAFE.
You can DETECT fake cash.
DATA. WHAT IS DATA.
Data can be like hacked, changed anytime.
So how is hard cash NOT SAFE.
Can you touch my cash from your home?
NO.
Can you paint about my sexual orientation on my living room wall?
NO.
You see how many people's wall going
"I AM GAY AND I AM PROUD"
or
"ANUS ITCHY."
And basically people like hacking into your online banking account.
GOT MOU.
GOT.
SO.
Which more safe, please use your brain.

And anyway I have seen Mondex illustrations.
They are cards.
I see no chips.
No mention of chips.
In fact all CHIPS that I can find are from those websites that say
"HEED OUR WARNING THE MARK OF THE BEAST"
And then they say stay away from this company
And then it shows Mondex's logo.
Which is of a butterfly.
Ooooo dangerous.
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

I know this was coming but I'm still mad.
I can't help it. I see their eyes.
The lies when they joke with me.
With every little words, hidden spikes are thrown.
Some subtly, some on purpose.

Wasted my time, effort, hope and patience for these few months
And eventually we came to this end.
Is it because you wanted me to suffer too?
When will you see that I am sorry?
A lifetime can't pay for my mistakes, in your eyes.

But come to think about it,
What is it really that you're mad about?
What is it that you can't let go.

What my eyes has seen?
Stranger to friends
Friends to close friends
Close friends to buddy
Buddy to potentials
Potentials to friends
Friends to strangers
Strangers to _________.

That's right.
Because we aren't even strangers anymore.
We've gone beyond that, and you took us further.
I don't know where you are planning to go with this.

All these while, what you wanted I granted.
That last wish you wanted, I fulfilled.
You wanted to stay friends, I agreed.
Things that I do, things I don't do;
What is right, and what is wrong?

Only you have the answers to that

I have done everything I can to make it right.
And I also done everything I could think of to make it easier for you.
I proposed to end it first, and you didn't take it.
Now you propose to me like you've always wanted it.
You know what it feels like?
It feels like you are preying on my conscience.
Toying with my guilt.
Had enough fun then.
-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

CNY was so so.
Had no CNY feel.
Or maybe because I just woke up as I'm typing this.
I woke up to do the storyboard timeline,
I am very close to falling asleep thus here I am.

I finished drawing the storyboard.
It looks like shit.
Acceptable shit.
For the first few pages anyway.
I can draw btw.. like shit.
Haha okay lar not that bad la, I won't fail also,
Just that all my facial expression cannot make it.
On the bright side, if I ever wanna draw retarded looking people
I'd get an easy A!

It's been.. a month and 3 days and counting.
There will always be a doubt in me to the possibility of a break up.
I don't know why, but I am dreading it.
I mean sure, it's all flowers now but you seriously never know
What's gonna happen.
But things with us are good now, one month along
And uhh.. we've already meet each other's families.
Not like OFFICIALLY. But still.

I haven't been controlled by anyone, and the bf is seriously very protective
But I can tell sometimes he tries to let loose a bit.
And I've also got to realize I'm not free to roam as I please anymore,
Because there will be someone always waiting for me
To see if I'm okay and I'll try to drill that into my routine.
If we ever break up I'd kill him. HAHAHA

Hmm updates on the Aussie trip?
It was okay I guess, but I left my soul back at Bondi Beach.
I swear I gotta go back there.
Other things are.. rather saddening and even annoying.

College started and the difference is immediately felt.
I want to forget about it, and just don't give a fuck.
I spent too many semesters trying to fix what I've done,
But what's done is done, if what I offer can't be accepted
Then I'll have to accept that this is the best I could do
And no one can say I never tried.

I'm saving up for a trip of a lifetime and will spend many dinners at
The chap fan at Asia Cafe and I wanna play 4 beat on the high hat!
I got started with 8 and now I can't slow down.

Surprise surprise I gained weight again lalala.
Good thing the bf don't care but still I wanna look good.
So bought like the Kelloggs bar that can probs last me like..
A month only whe wtf.
Just realized how expensive it is RAWR.

Whatever.
I hope this storyboard is worth the freaking effort.

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©

Just wrote a song but lyrics are retarded but that's how I feel ^^"


I've been dreaming of a time
Where someone's hands are mine
To love to mold it's hard to hold that thought away but you were there and
What's outside you're blind to all
And what's inside you see,
You take it in and made it into something that I never knew existed

I put my heart of glass in your hands
I bet my life and hope you dont end it

Days feel likes years that what you make me
You push and pull me tease me baby, You wont let me
Build that wall you crush it but I wont fall
Coz you'll be there to catch me, I know this might sound corny, baby
That what you make me
You make me go crazy

This home that you created don't you ever let it fall
Coz this's the one time I forgo everything everything
All defences I have built you made them seem so small
You break them up and push them down down
all that I believe bout love you erased it

You loved me when I don't believe me
With you, I don't have to care about being pretty

Days feel likes years that what you make me
You push and pull me tease me baby, You wont let me
Build that wall you crush it but I wont fall
Coz you'll be there to catch me, I know this might sound corny, baby
That what you make me
You make me go crazy

Well I told you I'd tell you guys personally.
Well technically there only be 2-3 that would be interested enough,
Coz the rest (if there is) would not know who he is.

2011 is magical.
Now I know what it feels like to have your love reciprocated.
I am DELIRIOUSLY happy.
We're not together yet.
We're taking things slow.. which was good,
Because although we've known each other for 4 years,
We haven't known each other this way.
So.. wish me good luck!

Despite my size,
He told me he thinks I am very pretty.
And apparently thinks my smile is very powerful.
HAHA!

-Miss-Hanz.Blogspot.com-
Miss-Hanz™ is a registered blog. All Copyrights Reserved.©